Growing Older, But Not Up

2b or not 2b

2011-03-12T11:54:00.001-05:00

In just 7 short weeks I'll be finished with school for the year. I've been trying to decide what classes I should take next semester. It is a choice between many evils, algebra being the largest, most diabolical evil and political science running a close second. Algebra. Who ever thought up such a horrible subject. It's just ... well it's unnatural. Letters and numbers do not add up to anything -- it's like a dog and a killer whale trying to breed. It just ain't happenin'. I suppose I should just get it out of the way before the stress of knowing I have to take the class builds up to mammoth proportions, but I really, really don't want to. I've never been particularly science literate. I am astronomically challenged in the field (hey that was pretty good, huh? astronomically ... astronomy .. science ..haha, I kill me). For the past year and a half I've been pulling out my Scarlet O'Hara persona when it comes to registering for the class -- why, fiddle dee dee, I can't think about that right now, I'll think about it tomorrow. I probably won't register for it in the fall either. I have a Spanish class to take and I can only handle one difficult one at a time. So, Spanish and 3 cushy English classes .. that'll do ;)

I wonder if the college would accept this reasoning for not taking algebra...

A math atheist ... I like it.

My advisor will love it

*grin*

Sit, Tiny, Sit.

2011-03-09T22:45:00.000-05:00

This is Tiny

Tiny is 5 months old, very playful and strong as an ox.

Tiny needs to have outside time every day so he can play and run off the

outrageous amount of energy that a 5 month old puppy has.

We have a huge yard for Tiny to play in, but since I mowed through

the underground fence last summer and won't be able to re-run

new wire until spring has sprung, he has to be on a tie-out for a

few hours a day to get in his play time. His tie-out cable is 30 feet long, which

gives him a 60 foot radius to play in.

Apparently, he was done being outside after a couple hours today and

decided that it was time to come in.

He was nice enough to pull the whole stake up for me, instead of

breaking the cable. He came to the window where I go to check on him

and was also nice enough to tie himself back up (all around the sawhorse).

So, of course I had to take a picture before I untangled him.

I went back inside to grab his leash so I could bring him in, came right back

out and there he was .... sawhorse and all, doing his best to keep me from having to

come back out after him.

What a good boy he is ;)

A Favor...

2011-01-14T10:03:00.001-05:00

I know I've been gone forever and a day and only gave y'all a quickie, but if anyone happens to see this I need a favor! My super cute, super sweet cousin is Jimmy Fallon's biggest fan and has been petitioning to get on his show so she can be in one of the sketches. She was interviewed by one of Chicago's radio stations just a couple nights ago about this even! She has a Facebook page dedicated to this and is trying to get to 300 members. She is only 3 shy of this number right now. I would like to see her get even higher than that! If anyone has Facebook and would like to help her out (and really, why wouldn't you? She's adorable.) go to Help Stephanie Get On The Jimmy Fallon Show and join her page! That's it! You can even hide the feed afterwards if you like, all she needs is warm bodies to push the count up. Tell her Sheli sent you, yanno, if you want to -- or just join and don't post at all. =) Tell your friends, bully your neighbors, do whatever it takes, but lets get my girl some members. She's shooting for 300 right now, but I think 500 is a good number, don't you?

Hey, I might even make a real post later! My class load is not nearly as difficult as the last semester so I have some brain power left at the end of the day. It's kinda awesome ;) So, y'all click on Stephie's page, tell your friends, bully your neighbors, grab people off the street .. let's see if we can get her up to 500 :)

Loves & stuff!

Quickie

2011-01-09T16:31:00.000-05:00

Favorite movie line of the week: "I've been trained to dismantle a bomb in the pitch black with nothing but a safety pin and a Junior Mint, I think I can get you in and out of some clothes without... looking --- I'm not saying that's what I did..."

Getting back into the swing of things

2010-08-22T11:30:00.000-04:00

The summer has just flown by, hasn't it?? Pookie was just saying yesterday that she can't believe her summer is over. I'm always glad to see the school year begin, not because I want her out of the house but because I'm happy she'll be home again! I could do without all the homework that the teachers make the parents do in the first week, but I suppose I can manage to fill out a few thousand forms without hurting anyone too badly. She, of course, did not get the form back to the school last year for being in the band, so she isn't assigned to band this year .. which means more forms and probably a trip to the school to rearrange her schedule.

Pookie worked for my mom this summer and saved up her paychecks so she could buy .... a drum set. Oh joy! We haven't found one yet, but we're looking for second hand set .. and then I'll be looking for donations of Tylenol, earplugs, and possibly a tranquilizer gun.

I just switched back to a midnight shift, which is not making me dance with joy, but that's where the work is, so that's where I'll be. Production based work is a real pain in the patootie. I -just- got used to being on a day shift after years of midnights! Just in the last year .. it only took FOUR years to re-acclimate to being up during the days, now I'm right back to midnights again. Grrr. I just keep chanting to myself, "only 2-1/2 more years."

I'm obsessed with a new comedian, Danny Bhoy. I DVR'd this show, Subject to Change, and haven't been able to make myself delete it yet. Is it possible, d'ya think, to wear out a DVR from watching a recorded show too much?

anyway, hopefully we'll be back into some kind of groove soon with school starting and all, and I may even have time to blog when I actually have the brain power to do it! Won't that be exciting? lol

Starting a new project!

2010-06-16T08:21:00.000-04:00

I've started a new blog called Coloring Outside The Lines .. I will still be keeping and posting in this one, as well, but the other one is a project for me .. a blog for self discovery and cleaning the skeletons out of the closets, a sort of spring cleaning for the mind & body. Give the first post a quick read. If you want to follow, please feel free. If you know anyone that might benefit from following along with me, please pass the link on. I encourage anyone to post comments, share their own stories, send blog addresses that I can link to it that are similar, etc.

Lola and Sarcasmo

2010-05-20T08:34:00.000-04:00

The GPS lady-voice is so accommodating and kind, isn't she? For those of you that do not own or have access to a GPS unit for your car, let me tell you that robot voice is very sweet. If you make a wrong turn, she doesn't judge or harass you, she just very pleasantly says, "Recalculating route," and then tells you where to go from there.

After my adventure in driving yesterday, I have decided that I need a male GPS. Not only a male voice, but one that sounds frustrated and is dripping with sarcasm, maybe sometimes rather rude. I need one that sounds like my friends.

I was driving along yesterday and the nice GPS lady, we'll call her Lola, said to turn left in 3 miles and enter the highway. I smiled and said, "Ok Lola, I just have to stop right here at the store first." And Lola said that was fine, 'cause she's very kind and would never judge me for stopping to grab Diet Coke and a bag of chips for breakfast.

The store was at an intersection and when I came out, I promptly forgot that I was supposed to turn left in 3 miles and turned left at the intersection. Lola's soothing voice embraced me gently as she said, "Recalculating route," so I knew that I had made a wrong turn, but she was so nice about it, I figured it was ok and just kept on going while she recalculated.

Now, if I had the sarastic male GPS, I wouldn't have added an extra 30 minutes to my driving time with that one little turn because the conversation would have gone more like this:

Sarcasmo:   Turn left in 3 miles, you think you can handle that?

Me: Yes, but I have to stop and get breakfast.

Sarcasmo: A bag of chips and a bottle of Diet Coke? You know that's loaded with carbs, right?

Me: Yes but I got DIET Coke. That cancels out the chip calories.

Sarcasmo: Suuuurrreee it does.   Wait .. you just turned left!   Are you deaf, woman? I said in THREE MILES.

Me: Oh my bad, but it should still be alright, I'm still going south, right?

Sarcasmo:  (loud sigh)  Perhaps if I hack into dispatch and post state police at every turn for you .. since you are incapable of passing one without rubbernecking? Will that work for you?

Me: Oooo that might work.

Sarcasmo:  You're still going the wrong way. Turn around RIGHT NOW or I'm gonna blow your sorry butt off the planet!

Me: Surely it can't be that bad, and I'm already going this way.

Sarcasmo: Well, if you fancy driving local, 2-lane, 40-mile-an-hour roads, sure it's just fine. FINE .. Recalculating route for the directionally challenged ... AGAIN. Turn left in 35 miles .. did you get that? THIRTY FIVE MILES ...LEFT. Time to reach destination? TOMORROW. TURN AROUND YOU IDIOT!

It might be even more productive if the GPS had a "Gibbs Slap" attachment.

Anyway, yeah, coulda shaved off a lot of driving time if I'd just had the right GPS. But, I made it home, so I guess that counts for something :p

Yep, I really turned this in

2010-05-17T13:09:00.001-04:00

Last week's assignment was to write an essay giving information to other students in your field of study about a job that you had researched. Well, I wrote something .. not exactly what the instructor expected, but it still got me an A ;) It's a journal thing, so figured I'd put it here for y'all too.

In the autumn of my life, I decided to give Criminal Justice that old college try. I am finishing up my first year within my chosen major and have learned some things about this field, as well as about myself in the process. First and foremost, when working in this field, you are expected to know the law. Not only are you expected to know it, but you are expected to abide by the rules set forth in the law. I am, by nature, a rule breaker. I have, at times, a hard time swallowing the government’s pills. I have also found that no matter how many times I ask, or how convincing I believe my argument is, they will not let me have a police-issue gun or make arrests until I have gone through all the correct channels. I find that quite annoying.

I chose this major with the intent of going into police forensics, which I find very interesting, but wanted to have a solid background in Criminal Justice and chose the focus of Police Science. I found that there are age limits on the positions that I would have enjoyed being in the most -- age limits which I passed before ever starting college! Though the average salary is between $49 and $59K/year, which is so much better than I have ever made, I quickly decided that this field was not really a good fit for me. Besides the age limit on the interesting jobs, there is so much about the law and the way it is enforced (or not) that I do not agree with, I feel that I would be constantly frustrated working in this field. I have been pretty constantly frustrated just by taking the courses! Subsequently, I changed my major’s concentration from Police Science to Homeland Security because of the psychology and sociology concentrations in such a major.

I have always loved psychology and hoped that, in changing my focus to an area that uses more psychology, I would be more satisfied with my choice of field. I spoke with a long-time friend in the state police who, on finding out what I am majoring in, cautioned me (after he stopped laughing at the thought of me in law enforcement of any kind) that, though he loves his job, it can be overwhelmingly frustrating, that there is no money in it and that I should go into law. For some reason, he feels that I would make a good lawyer, because I “could talk someone to death in a courtroom.” He also made mention that, even though he felt that my being in a constant state of euphoria over being surrounded by men in uniform might temper it a bit, my “Shoot them in the face” approach to terrorism would most likely not go over very well. I’m pretty sure he was also trying to ensure that I would go into a field that would not issue me a firearm because he is a spoilsport. He agrees with my approach to terrorism, but apparently he hides it better than I do. After speaking with him, had money been my goal, I would have quickly chosen something else. I did check up on average salaries of security professionals in the US and it ranges around $79K/year, which is not bad at all, but I’m not terribly worried about making boat loads of money; I just want to do something I love. Speaking with him helped me realize this would not be something I could love, or even really enjoy very often, no matter how much I made.

In this mini-journey of finding myself, my first love and constant companion, Writing, has been niggling at me, asking why I have forsaken it in the name of science (and the hopes of being issued a gun). I have decided that I should follow my original dream of teaching English courses in a college setting and writing on the side in the hopes of being published someday. The thought of introducing other students to the beauty of the written word and the serenity that can be found in it makes me smile. The average salary, by my research, is around $50K/year for English professors, which is more than enough to satisfy my simple pleasures in life. The hours in class are reasonable, the hours outside of class needed to prepare and grade assignments would not be terrible. I cannot really imagine a better job for myself than to teach what I have always loved the most. After all, if you have a job that you love you will never work a day in your life!

Happy Mother's Day and a little catch up ..

2010-05-09T11:20:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to give a little shout out to all the mother's that read here and say Happy Mommy Day to you.

I'm halfway through this set of classes and come June I will happily take the summer off from school, yay me! I'm awful proud of myself for making it through the first classes I've taken in nearly 20 years =) Hopefully the next semester will be a little easier since I've kinda slid into a groove and gotten used to being a student again. I did manage to tank one of my early classes, but I kinda expected to (which is probably why I did), and will just have to re-take that one at a later date. I'm rather enjoying the ones I have now and am looking forward to the next the next semester classes, which will include Psychology and Sociology -- my favorites!!    I hope that, if nothing else, Pookie learns that it is never too late to make and reach a goal in her life, even if she waits until she's nearly 40 to go to college.

I've been doing the Yard Sale Hop with mom for the last couple weekends and have really enjoyed getting to spend that time with her when it's just us and Pookie. I swear she has the best eye for spotting yard sale signs from miles away. I told a friend the other day that mom's Bargain Senses tingle, just like Spiderman's Spidey senses lol. We've been finding some pretty cool stuff for really cheap! I like cheap ;)   I'll be adding pictures of some of my favorite finds as the summer progresses, since this is to be a weekly thing. My bestest deal was a brand new laptop case, never been used, for 25 cents. I am alllll kinds of proud of that one! I'm on the lookout for garden gnomes and a bird-bath, if I can find those this summer I'll be ecstatic! lol

The grandparents came by yesterday to drop off the riding mower for me to borrow for a few days because the yard is kinda like a jungle right now and it's so rutted from the shoddy job that the septic people did a few years ago that I cannot use a walk-behind mower back there without busting up the blades. It has gotten so tall already this spring, I swear I saw some monkeys out there swinging in the bushes. While they were here, grandpa checked out the dishwasher for me because it decided it wasn't going to work anymore. He ran out to Lowe's to get a part for it real quick and came back an hour later (Lowes is 5 minutes away). Grandma says, "Oh we got a little sidetracked.  Grandpa bought a new mower." So, now I have a new-to-me riding mower. My garage is getting a little cramped, but my yard may actually stay mowed, which means I can actually have friends over and let their children play in the yard without fear of losing them!! They are so good to me!! :)

My flower beds will also look much prettier without all the grass standing in front of them lol .. I've managed to separate and spread out all the perennials and have a few spots for some new ones that I probably should start seedlings for. I worked all last summer on those beds only to realize this year that everything I have out there blooms in the spring or late summer, Tiger Lilies, Asiatic Lilies, Lambs Ear, Hosta, Asters, some kind of yellow flower with a fringy stem that I still haven't figured out, and some purple stuff lol. There are no summer-blooming perennials out there!! LOL So, I grabbed some seeds for summer bloomers, Hollyhock, Echinacea, Lavendar, Oriental Poppies, Goblins, Butterfly Weed, Blackeyed Susans, and several others, and will add those to the beds too. Next summer they should be nice and full :)

Anyway, just wanted to throw a little post out here since it's been a while, I have a strawberry-rhubarb upside down cake (The nummiest!) in the oven and need to get ready to get outta here for our Mother's Day cookout :) Hope y'all have a GREAT Mother's Day!

Strawberry Rhubarb Cake

Melt 1/4 cup butter in bottom of 9 x 13 cake pan
Sprinkle with 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar

Press 1 cup sliced strawberries and 1 cup sliced rhubarb into brown sugar/butter mixture

Mix 1 orange or pineapple flavored cake by cake directions, pour over fruit.

Bake by cake directions, may take a few minutes longer than box says because of the extra fruit. Take out when toothpick comes out clean. (usually 5-10 minutes longer than cake directions state).

Let cool and flip out onto serving plate. Can be served warm or cold, yummy both ways. Top with Cool Whip and Enjoy!

If I Could Ask God Anything - by Kathryn Slattery

2010-04-16T11:45:00.000-04:00

I received this book last week and have been reading bits and pieces over the last few days and I have to say this is a great little book! This book is geared for the myriad of questions that children ask when parents may find the answers hard to explain in terms they will really grasp and understand.

The book is broken down into sections (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit,The Bible, Christianity, Prayer, The Church, Christian Seasons & Holidays, Being a Christian, and Big Questions), as well as the Contents section which lists each individual question that is covered, for ease of finding the answers you're looking for. There are answers for everything from Who is God? to What did Jesus wear? to Why do people have to die?

This little book is a great read for all ages. Whether you have children of your own or not, you never know when you might suddenly be inundated with questions from curious kids!

I received this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze.com Blog Review and these are my honest opinions.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising

I'd like to thank all the little people ....

2010-04-14T18:06:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'm just thanking Fabulously Chaotic over at Surviving Little People, 'cause she gave me the Honest Scrap award! Apparently, I'm all cool and stuff ;)

The rules are that I have to tell 10 honest things about myself and then give the award to 10 of my favorite bloggers. Now, considering that I'm a total rule breaker and wild child and all that, I'm not going to pick 10 bloggers 'cause I heart so many! I will, however, tell 10 things on myself.

1. I love to cook.

2. I hate to clean up the kitchen after said cooking.

3. I adore Owl City, their songs just make me happy and give me a warm fuzzy :)

4. I am almost always late for everything because I never make it out of the house with everything on the first try ... but if you're on time, nobody is there to appreciate it anyway. That's how I justify it lol

5. I hate feeling the back of a shoe on the back of my foot. I smash the backs of my shoes down so my heel is bare.

6.  Until a couple months ago, I haven't owned or worn a pair of socks for about 15 years.  I only wear them now when I go to the gym. My toes need to be free to wiggle!

7.  I love music, love to sing, and used to play the trumpet and the piano.

8.  I make up and use nonsense words in otherwise normal conversation (if you could call the people I have conversations with 'normal') ... like kerflooeyest and flarkinshpeckel.

9. I am a candle addict.

10. I love thunderstorms, the louder the better, and love to dance in the rain ;)

The Honest Scrap award is on my sidebar, and you're welcome to take it and follow the rules, or not =)   There are so many blogs that I love to read, I can't pick just 10!

Counting

2010-04-07T13:26:00.001-04:00

So, there we were, my Tween and I, standing out in the garage locked in a staring contest at 9:00 this morning while I counted in my head.

It all started yesterday when I told her to take out all the trash because today is trash day and I wanted it to all be ready. We went out this morning to wrangle it all to the curb and there was trash everywhere in little grocery bags ... not in big trash bags. I sent Pookie in to grab a trash bag and told her to pick up all the little bags and put them in it .. and that sometime today would be nice, since the trash-man is on the way and she is on permanent snail-speed when there are chores to be done. She huffed and puffed and sighed and stomped around and stabbed things into the trash bag and complained about how heavy the small trash can that she uses for the cat litter that she has to clean out every day was (because she hadn't bothered to add it to the rest of the trash weekly and this was about a month's worth). The bag she brought out was full and she assumed that meant she was done.

I sent her back for another bag, which was met with more sighing, stomping, grumbling under her breath and, though it doesn't seem possible, an even slower speed setting.

She came back with the bag and just stood there, staring at me like she had no clue.

I just stood there staring at her because .. Really?

Finally I said, "Are you going to just stand there?"

She said, "Well I don't know what you want me to do with this."

Seriously?

So, I was counting and grumbling in my own head,

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Why, I want you to wear it on your head .. because what else would you do with a trash bag.

26, 27, 28, 29 When you are standing in the midst of a bunch of trash.

50, 51, 52 On trash day.

74, 75, 76 As the trash-man cometh?

Counting to 10 just isn't enough ...

Walk Like You Have Somewhere to Go, by Lucille O'Neal

2010-03-31T14:01:00.000-04:00

I received this book from Booksneeze.com on Friday and read it on and off between bouts of homework ;) This is the story of Lucille O'Neal's journey, from being whisked away from her mother at a very young age to the woman she is today. She is quite candid about her upbringing, her family and her feelings about both throughout, as well as her faith in God and how her relationship with Him has brought her to the place she is today. The pages are peppered with a mixture of her great love for her children and her love for God, as well as many pieces of scripture throughout. I especially love that Lucille speaks with great respect about her emotionally distant grandparents, her verbally stunted father, and even the husband that she divorced. In an age where children blaming their parents for everything is all the rage, Lucille is a breath of fresh air. This book is not really a "page-turner," it won't have you on the edge of your seat, but rather gives the feel of a lazy afternoon on the porch conversation. It's a pleasant, light read and a very inspirational story that will warm the heart. It would be a great gift for anyone feeling a bit lost, or stumbling in their faith.

I received this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze.com Blog Review and these are my honest opinions.

.Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising

Shameless plug

2010-03-30T14:09:00.000-04:00

So, I'm bouncing around people's blogs today, because we're having technical difficulties with work for the moment, and I found Shelly's Swag through The Product Review Place, and I am shamelessly plugging both places 'cause Shelly is giving away some great body products from Vital Earth Traditions and I want 'em! I get more entries if I blog about it LOL

Y'all should go enter for the giveaway, or just check out her blog .. and of course Vital Earth, 'cause it sure looks like they have some great, naturally made stuff .. and the fragrances sounded nummy. If I win, I'll be sure to let y'all know how it is :)

In other news .. I'm about halfway through my book .. you know, the book I'm supposed to be reviewing. It's pretty good! Should be done with it in the next couple days.

Other than that, I've just been busy with work, school, getting ready for Pookie's birthday, being a domestic goddess .. you know, the usual :) Hopefully I'll be around to blog more later!

Just a little Thursday post

2010-03-25T13:36:00.000-04:00

Alrighty, my first ever, super-dee-duper review will be coming up soon! I found a website that sends free books for review. You can find the link for the Booksneeze.com website over in the sidebar .. big blue button, ya can't miss it. If you'd like to check them out and maybe review a book of your very own, run on over there and sign up. They have a quick registration page, then a few books that are up for review for you to choose from once you are accepted. I'm currently awaiting, ever so patiently, "Walk Like You Have Somewhere To Go," by Lucille O'Neal (Shaq's mom).

In other news, I have the LG Tritan cell phone with the touch screen and would like to caution anyone that decides to get this phone that you HAVE to lock the screen when you stick it in your pocket or your purse, or anywhere really, or you'll be butt-dialing people all the time lol .. Sorry Paige!! I have no idea how many people I've dialed accidentally .. it's getting a bit ridiculous though :p

I have also decided it's back to the gym for us. We tried to get back into it a little while back, but it just kept snowing and snowing and we couldn't get there. The snow is finally through with us, I believe, so we're going back. I have irritated, poked and prodded my friend Amy over at Harvest For Tomorrow to come with me, and she has succumbed to my ~~irritating~~ ~~annoying~~ ~~nagging~~ charm and says she's going to come with. She and the kids might even take a road trip with us in August .. .which would be great blog fodder! LOL

I'm off to ~~lounge on the couch in front of the tv~~ ... do homework, but I'll be back soon with reviews and giveaways and stories from the ~~dark side~~ gym adventures!

New and improved blogginess coming up ...

2010-03-19T20:04:00.000-04:00

So, I've decided to start hosting giveaways and doing some product reviews. I was going to start a new blog for this, but have decided to just do it here so I don't have to have people following me all over the place ... and I don't have to come up with a new blog name and all that either ;) With the help of my friend, Amy, over at Harvest for Tomorrow, I've found some websites to help get me started. She gets lots of free stuff and, hey, I like free stuff! I bet you all like free stuff too :) I'll be sharing those websites along with my reviews and giveaways as we go, which will give those of you that are interested a chance to sign up with them and maybe do your own reviews and giveaways!

It may be just a bit before I get started with it, but wanted to give y'all a heads up that this is what is going to be happening here, so it won't be a big shock when I actually start posting more or anything lol

Self portrait by bored insomniac who should be doing homework

2010-02-28T01:36:00.001-05:00

Why is it that my boyfriends never thought this was nearly as funny as I do

2010-02-25T21:18:00.000-05:00

Wednesday Ramblings

2010-02-24T11:48:00.002-05:00

A while back I began a post with the definition of insanity.

in·san·i·ty: Repeatedly doing the exact same thing the exact same way and fully expecting a different result.

I left that little niblet of wisdom more for myself than anything and, of course, I chose to ignore it. I have allowed someone back in my life that I booted out a couple years ago. I'm pretty sure this was not a good idea and it will end the same way it always ends, but there is some glitch in my brain that keeps letting them come back. I'm pretty sure it's the Mad Cow.

Or maybe love.

It's a funny thing .. love. Isn't it?

I used to read romance novels as a teenager and young adult. There was always some tragedy first, then of course the fabulous hunk of a man with rippling muscles and perfect hair blowing in the breeze comes along to save the day, sweeps the fragile female off her feet, they fall madly in love, followed by a perfect ending and happily ever after.

What a crock.

Love is not all puppies and roses all the time. It cannot be boxed up all nice and neat and stored tidily on a shelf like a so called "love story." Love is messy, disorganized and at times painful. It leaves its socks all over the place and dirty handprints on the walls. It never takes its shoes off before tromping through the house, and it is indecisive. It says the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time .. a lot of the time.. and has the nerve to look shocked when it realizes that its target is angry at its insensitive comments. It is a hug at the exact right time, the mere touch of a hand that makes everything seem better if even for just a moment.

Love is not even close to being perfect, it is a jumble of emotions, the highest highs and lowest lows, from fantasizing the perfect honeymoon to seriously pondering murder. It is joy and pain and security, safety and hope and tears, worry, irritation, unbelievable fury and perfect happiness, and forgiveness all wrinkled up and tied in knots, like the ball of clothes in the bottom of Pookie's closet. It is unconditional, constant, and can weather any storm. It remains even when all signs say it shouldn't. It is the knowledge that that bumbling ogre means well and will try to make up for being an insensitive jerk when he realizes that's exactly what he's done.

It is what it is.

They never say that in romance novels, do they? The hero and heroine ride off into the sunset to live out their lives in perfect bliss. It never mentions that later on the princess has gained a lot of weight and has a map of stretch marks across her tummy that looks like a US Interstate map, and she can be a bit of a shrew for a week out of every month, or that the prince has gained a beer gut and has gas potent enough to fuel the cars of an entire city, or that the princess could never lose him because all you have to do is follow the trail of muddy footprints and dirty clothes that he's left in his wake. There is never a sequel about how the bills have piled up and the prince and princess are living in a 2 bedroom walkup with 4 kids and a dog, the prince has been laid off, the princess is working 3 jobs and they are exhausted all the time.

No, all romance novels have happily ever after endings ... setting up young girls for real disappointment in the future when they find out that there is no 'perfect man' out there.

There are good men. There are wonderful, sensitive, honorable men out there.  They are mostly gay, but they are out there!

Seriously, there are perfectly fine hetero men out there too .. but at least 99% of them will not ever live up to the sexy beasts protrayed in the pages of romance novels .. those men do not exist outside the pages of the novel or the movies. You ladies that are turning down real men in your search for the elusive Fabio-types ... you do a disservice to the good men of the world.

Anyway, I wasn't aiming to get up on my little soap box today. I guess what I'm trying to say, the conclusion that I've come to, and the reason I've let this person back into my life, is that love stories .. real love stories .. are messy and unpredictable and sometimes can be highly irritating .. and they do not have happy endings.

Because, no matter how many times you try to close the book, real love stories do not end.

Violated!

2010-02-04T07:32:00.000-05:00

You know, I realize that the dreaded V-Day "holiday" is nearly here but they have gone too far this time. I've been seeing V-Day merchandise in stores for months. Yes, months. Before Christmas even. As crazy as that is, that's not where they crossed the line this year.

I was sitting here last night, checking up on my facebook, minding my own business .. and the business of all my little FB buddies who post their business in their status messages .. enjoying a bit of chatter with Her Royal Pookiness and a thirst quenching, caffeine pick-me-up when I saw it.

There was a big HEART on my DIET COKE can. I felt so violated! They have crossed the sacred line! I can't even believe it! (and as I typed this, my mind went on a mini-vacation .. so here is a small comedy break for you)

I have had a 30 year relationship with my Diet Coke, I rarely ever stray to another quenching beverage. None are so sweet to my palate as my lovely Diet Coke. I even have a collection of Coca Cola paraphernalia lovingly displayed throughout my kitchen and dining room. And the horrible people that are V-Day marketers had marred my perfect companion! That great big heart was just staring at me. Mocking me.

So, I did what any rational person would do.

I shot it full of arrows and let it bleed to death right there on my desk.

Then, of course, I realized the heart was for the support of women's heart health and not actually V-day ... but still.

Hearts.

Close to V-day.

On my Diet Coke can.

hmmph.

V-day should have ended with the massacre.

Random Tuesday

2010-02-02T08:41:00.001-05:00

in·san·i·ty: Repeatedly doing the exact same thing the exact same way and fully expecting a different result.

*********************************

I had to run Princess Pooky to school today because the bus was so late that I assumed we'd missed it somehow in the 0.0005 seconds that I looked away from the street while we were waiting for it at Oh-Dark&Nasty-thirty this morning. As I locked the door and started back to the bedroom to de-robe and put some clothes on, when I was literally 2 steps away from the door, there he came, did something that may have resembled a whisper of a pause at the end of the driveway and then went roaring down the street. *()&%#$()*#). So I had to go out in the cold and snow and cold ... and did I mention COLD?! to take her to school. Totally the bus driver's fault this time. So anyway, I made a quick run by MickeyD's for a sausage biscuit on the way home.

It dawned on me when I brought my little breakfast niblet into the house, where it was light and I could see the bag, that when a biscuit is dripping with grease .. so much so that it has drained through the wrapper and even the bag is kinda soaked with it .. that this might possibly not be the best idea for breakfast.

********************************

My daughter has shamed me into going back to the gym, because she wants to go to the fitness room with me, now that she's old enough (to be snuck in without much question). She's supposed to be 12, which she will be in 2 months ... close enough! I told her to stop asking every 5 seconds because she was driving me nuts, so now she comes home and does the "Y-M-C-A" motions and gives me an inquisitive, raised eyebrow look instead of asking. It was cute .. the first 100 times.

Not so cute anymore.

I might strangle her.

So, we were trying to find a pair of shoes for her to wear. She has 5000 pair of shoes by the front door, which she proceeded to bring in one at a time to try on to see if any of them still fit. She, of course, did not take each pair back as she got the next pair, and instead elected to build a small mountain of stench there in the living room. It is a heavy, oppressive stench that emanates from the pile, I can see the stinky fumes rising from them. I felt pretty light-headed there for a few minutes and actually got nauseous. That kid has some toxic feet. I'm pretty sure that between her stinky feet and my friend Iggy's toxic, make-the-cat-go-bald gas, the two of them could probably take over the world without too much effort. I told her that we'd just have to find more shoes for her to wear to the gym, because you have to actually change shoes there, you can't use street shoes. I'm afraid that if she carried a pair of those inside that she might kill everyone in the building. The dog sticks her face right in those shoes, but then .. she's brain dead already. The mountain o'stench was moved back to the front door when the cats started twitching uncontrollably.

Walmart, Hairdos, and Monstah Trucks.

2010-01-19T09:05:00.001-05:00

So, I had to buy a new keyboard. Apparently, I'm rather keyboard abusive and I have to replace mine every so often. The one I just destroyed has been around for a year or so. My keyboards are not cheap, since I have to have the ergonomic boards for work -- otherwise instead of my arms just feeling like they are going to fall off after an 8 hour shift, they actually DO fall off *nods*

So, I went online and tried to find a cheap ergo board and ended up finding a good one with an acceptable price at Walmart. The shipping was ridiculous, so I used the "Site-to-Store" option to avoid the shipping cost. (As an aside, my Jewish friend asked me why I had done that instead of just having it shipped to the house and I told him I didn't want to pay the shipping .. to which he replied, "Well, I didn't know you were Jewish.")They email ya, you go pick it up. Easy enough, right?

Right.

We ran out yesterday to pick up the package and had to take the 10-mile jaunt to the back of the store to the designated pick up area. The entire area is empty with the exception of 2 cash registers and a little touch screen that says "Touch here if you need assistance." So, I touched there.

The screen then beeped at me and said that an associate had been contacted and would be with me shortly. So, we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And someone came out of the break room, looked at us, and kept walking.

And Pookie "touched there" and we waited some more for the elusive associate who was on the way.

And someone else came out of the break room, kept they eyes down, and moved along at a brisk pace.

And this happened about 5 more times.

Finally, I grabbed a little man coming out of the break room and handed him my receipt and he handed it back to me and asked if I'd touched the screen. I told him I had ... twice. So he touched it and walked away.

We waited some more and the little man came back. He touched the screen again and said, "I touch, they come." I'm pretty sure he works at the Chinese place too, he sounded like the one that tells me "We no derivah dere, is too fah."

I said, "No, they don't come. Nobody comes." And then touched the screen again.

Finally, many days and grays later (translation: about 30 minutes), a lady with a big rolling mop bucket came back there and assisted us. I guess they were running short on cashiers and were having the janitorial staff take care of customers... which would explain why on the busiest day of the week they only had 1 register open on the north side of the store with a line about 30 deep.

Anyway, I got my keyboard and we got out. I will NOT be using Site to Store again for something small. The money I saved on shipping was not worth having to sit there forever waiting for someone to deign to assist use. Unlike the money I could have saved with Geico, which follows me around looking cute ... the money I saved with Walmart got tired of waiting for me to be done at the counter and left.

The keyboard is pretty nice, with the exception of the stiff spacebar ... but I figure a few days of me beating on it should loosen it right up ;)

In other news, my red-headed Pookie decided she didn't want to be a redhead anymore.

So, she's not.

We went to the Monster Truck Spectacular last weekend with my mom, sisters and brother-in-law ... Mom said she's always wanted to go, which kinda shocked me. What shocked me more was that she was getting all into it, cheering and clapping and stuff. My sisters looked bored, but Pookie, Mom and I had a great time.

They had one of the few women in the monster truck business there. She is N.U.T.S.

But, I guess being surrounded by men, she'd have to be just as nuts, or more nuts than they are just to make it lol

Still alive & shivering ...

2010-01-06T19:50:00.000-05:00

Day #20 of the white shroud.

It started around 12/18, the fat snowflakes pounding into the ground .. and we thought, hey! a white Christmas.

After about the first 12 inches, it was no longer amusing.

After 24 inches, a bit irritating.

After 36 inches .. well, lets just say we weren't too happy.

Pookie got 2 snow days before Christmas break started, which she was thrilled about. Now, nearly 3 weeks later, it's no longer such a great thing to get snow days. The kids were to return to school Monday, but I've come to the conclusion that the snow is never stopping and the kids are never going back to school. It's been cancelled every day this week, so far, and is already canceled for tomorrow. We are doomed to be buried under the white shroud forever.

A drum, a rodeo and a walk around the house.

2009-12-07T08:44:00.001-05:00

Pookie had her very first parade and did great. She was nearly frozen solid by the time they were done, but, she had fun. She's the one with the drum covered in red garland.

They didn't have enough uniforms for the whole band, so the drumline had to wear tuxedos, without the jackets. Poor Pookie had so many clothes on under that outfit, I'm shocked she could move at all. She has on at least 3 outfits there. She did great though, they all did. The high school band wimped out because it was snowing and they didn't want to get their instruments wet .. but when I heard the drumline start up from a block away, I would have sworn it was the high school band. I thought they'd changed their minds and were going to make an appearance.

In other news, the Blazer (affectionately called "The Big Red Death Sled") is our very newest lawn ornament. I'm thinking of stringing lights up on it, or perhaps wrapping it in garland, just to be festive.

The grandparents drove up the other day in a nice little SUV and asked if I wanted it. I accepted, of course! That Blazer wasn't gonna last much longer .. not for me anyway. A mechanic would be able to afford it. The parts themselves aren't that pricey when it needs repairs ... but the labor will drain ya dry.

So, anyway, here's my new toy

It's a 2002 Isuzu Rodeo. We pronounce it "Ro-Day-Oh" because we're high class like that. You can tell from my white trash bathtub in the flower bed and the Death Sled lawn ornament =)

That's about it for now, I think. My brain is all melty from sleep deprivation. I had a prowler the night before last. He came up on my porch and then took a walk around my house, left footprints in the snow all the way, and seemed to pause at a couple of the bedroom windows, which I found yesterday morning. Needless to say, I didn't sleep last night.

Now I'm not freaking out anymore... I'm just really tired and ticked off.

I dare 'em to try to get in my house now.

I have a pair of crutches that'll put the hurt on someone.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T09:58:00.000-05:00

Hope you all have a great day and end up in turkey-induced comas for the evening :) I'll be off to mother's in a couple hours with piping hot bread straight from my oven. Hopefully it'll still be somewhat warm by the time I get there lol

... oh, and since I've been bad and haven't blogged a bit for a while, quick sum-up -- I'm officially a college student, woohoo :p .. and Pookie made the drumline! She is stoked ... and I'm so proud of her =)

A pulse, a voice, and some fireflies

2009-11-12T15:24:00.000-05:00

My little drummer girl is trying out for the band today. From what I gather from the bits and pieces I've gotten from her, one of the percussionists is gone .. now, knowing 6th graders as I do, the chances are pretty even that they could have quit, or just gotten lost in the halls of the school and cannot find their way back to the band area. Anyway, the spot is open .. and they are now letting the 6th graders try out to fill it, even though 6th graders don't normally get to do that. So, she's all excited .. and so am I.

This will be her

I'm betting she'll play just like that too .. LOL

I had a wonderful band career in high school, it was the thing I looked forward to every day. I hope that my little Animal will stick with it throughout her high school years. She wanted to switch to trumpet (I think 'cause that's mom's instrument), but I talked her into sticking with drums (pun totally not intended lol), and told her I'll teach her trumpet once the braces come off. She couldn't have a better combination of instruments ;) The drums are the pulse of any band, the trumpets are the voice.

Any trumpet players out there? Hi. I'm better than you. (that is the traditional trumpet player's greeting)

teehee ..

So, anyway, I'm off to pick up the Pookster and run some errands ... and I just burned the soundtrack for my day so I'll have music. I just discovered Owl City .. and I'm totally in love with their music .. well not JUST discovered, I've loved "Fireflies" since the first time I heard it. I have no clue why .. but it just makes me happy :)

Welcome to our Kitchen ... May the Forks Be With You.

2009-11-09T07:42:00.000-05:00

There is an intruder in my house. He snuck inside in the dead of night, and has been living behind the dresser in my bedroom. I can hear him back there, digging into the carpet, scritch scratching on the wall. But I never see him. I've peeked over the dresser but wasn't tall enough to see into the corner. I balanced on the corner of the bed and tried to stretch across to get a look back there .. and even held my camera over the edge and snapped a picture (which gave me a great pic of the back of the TV), but still can't see him. So, I'm assuming it's a mousie .. but can't be positive. I attempted to sic the cats on him, but they were clueless. I'm waiting for him to make his way to the kitchen .. I have a big barbecue fork in there for to stab him with. Of course then I'd have to throw it away ... and that would be gross. Ew. Ok, maybe I'll just chase him outside. The grandparents are comin today. They are going to help me with my critter problem. That should be circus lol

Since Thanksgiving is upon us soon, I thought I'd share a dessert recipe with ya. It's really really simple. You can make this from scratch, or you can use the pre-made cookie dough. It's good either way.

You'll need sugar cookie dough, chocolate chip cookie dough, peanutbutter cookie dough. When you make each one from scratch, you end up with twice as much as you actually need, so you'd have enough left to make individual cookies as well.

If you buy the pre-made stuff you'll need 2 small rolls (or 1 tub) of sugar cookies, 2 small rolls of peanut butter, and 2 small rolls of chocolate chip (or 1 tub).

Layer the sugar cookies first (they make the best kind of crust) by pressing into the bottom of a greased 9 x 13 cake pan (I use a glass one). Press peanut butter cookie dough on top of the sugar cookie. Chocolate chip dough is always last and you just drop chunks of it across the top instead of pressing it like the other layers.

Bake at 350 for 30 to 45 minutes (it takes around 40 in my oven) until middle is done. Let cool for about 15 minutes and then drizzle melted chocolate chips over the entire thing.

It is a very rich dessert, I can't take more than a couple bites of one of the bars lol .. but it's good!!

too cute! wish we'd had teachers like this in school

2009-11-08T17:12:00.002-05:00

It's a woman thing ..

2009-11-05T08:37:00.000-05:00

Have you ever waited until the very last second to do something that you know you're most likely going to need a bit of help with? Every time I do that, I think .. hmm, it won't take that long, it can wait.

I had to call my own personal tech support professionals yesterday. My team is not always the most reliable bunch. I left a message for the first one on the list, Brian. He got back to me 3 hours later, after I'd called #2, Lux, and also #3, my dad, and was 5 minutes from having everything finished. He's very prompt like that. :p

So, anyway, I had to call daddy and have him walk me through reformatting this stupid computer that I'm trying to get rid of. A lady called and said she wanted it and, of course, even though it's been in the paper for sale for about 3 weeks now, I still hadn't thought to wipe it out and reformat so that all our personal information wouldn't be going to some redneck stranger. So, I had .. oh .. about 30 minutes. So, I started with:

Hi, this is your daughter.   I have waited until the last second to do something and, well, I can't do it by myself. So, I have 30 minutes to reformat this computer and it's partitioned weird.

When he stopped laughing .. daddy walked me through it. :p

I'll spare you all the gory details. Suffice to say I had to reformat twice, because while he was saying "Ok, click on this" .. my brain tuned out at "click" and I was apparently clicking randomly on the wrong stuff. That's what mom did when I was teaching her to use her computer.

It went sort of like:

Me: Ok, now click...

Mom: *click click click click*

Me: .... the "Inbox" .... Wait!! You're clicking the wrong stuff!

By then we'd be 7 pages deep into somewhere way off course. She does the same thing when she's driving. She'll call me for directions, while she's out hunting the ever elusive yard-sale beast, and say something like, "I'm on A Street. I need to get to L Street."

I pull up mapquest and find a map for her so I can guide her to her next stop.

Me: "Ok, take a left onto B Street ..."

Mom:   Oh, I'm over on S Street now.

Me: What? You can't even get to S from A. What did you do?

Mom: Oh, I turned some places.

It's not just what she says, it's the way she says it. She just sounds so innocent, like she has no clue that she's makin me crazy :p

So, anyway, daddy was telling me what to click, but my brain shut off at the word "click" and I'd be 3 windows deep into where I didn't need to be. Luckily I usually talk myself through the clicks, out loud, so he kinda knew where I was while I was clicking the wrong stuff.

Sometimes.

But, we finally got it all sorted out.

3 hours later.

After the second reformat.

He says it must be a woman thing.

*click click click*

Redneck Woman never did call me back .. so I called her back to let her know the computer was working fine and that I'd reformatted it so she could start clean if she still wanted it.

She didn't answer.

About 2 hours later (we're all very prompt here in Redneck Central), she calls me back. I answered the phone.

Me: Hello?

Her: WHO IS THIS?!

Me: ...? Excuse me?

Her: WHO THE *()$&%) IS THIS?!

Me: HEY! Calm down! YOU called ME a bit ago about a COMPUTER.

She was swearing like a drunken sailor on shore leave, but all I caught really was the word "husband" ... and then she hung up on me.

Ahh .. Rednecks.

Gotta love 'em.

Computer lessons, ignorance and irony

2009-11-03T07:31:00.003-05:00

My mother has never really learned to use a computer. She is hopelessly cute about it, though, so even if you get frustrated, you can't stay mad at her. I've offered for years to teach her how to surf the web, use her email, or MSWord, and all the other little things she needs to know how to do, but she never felt she had the time to do it. She has decided that now is the time to learn, though, so she won't have to wait for someone else every time she needs something done for the store. Besides that, she says everyone gets all snippy with her every time she asks them something. So, she came over yesterday for her first computer lesson. We started with email.

I showed her how to use email before, set up an email account for her several years ago. I didn't know until just recently that she never learned how to do more with it than check her email and reply to emails.

That's it. I was amazed! My mother is a smart woman, I never thought she wouldn't figure the rest out on her own once I showed her the basics. I think she's afraid to click stuff, 'cause she's afraid to mess things up. So, I put her in the chair and pulled up another one beside her and just told her how to do each thing, and let her click away so she'd see that she wasn't going to hurt anything if she clicked the wrong button. We learned how to compose an email using all the text tools and to forward emails, making folders, using notepad and calendars that are available within the email, creating filters so that certain emails will go certain places and all the cool little options you can use. Once she figured out where everything was, she was an emailing fool!   I had about a million little emails that said "Hi" and had the big cheesy smiley faces in them, and different stationery, with big fonts and little fonts and in between fonts. She did so good! I'm so proud :-D

So, after the lesson, she was telling me about some data that they needed off the computer at the store. Mom says there's a video on the machine that they need to take off before the machine is reformatted, but my sister couldn't do it and she doesn't know why. And even if she did know why, my sister would not "waste her time telling my mother." LOL!

SO, I called Blondie.

Me: Hey, mom says you're having a problem getting the video off the computer and that even if you knew what the problem was you wouldn't waste your time tellling her.

(mom and I were just giggling hysterically while Blondie went off the deep end)

Blondie: Do you know why you can be so patient with her?? YOU are not the one that gets called at school to ask how to do this and how to do that on the computer all the time. You are not the one that works and works on the books for the store and then comes home one day to find out that they are just GONE. She thinks that if you put something on one computer that you can access it from ANY computer!!!

I told Blondie that mom was doing really good with her email, but I'm not sure that she believed me.

So, we talked about hard drives and servers and what the difference is, so she understands that information is not necessarily accessible from every machine in the world *grins*

Pookie thought that it was particularly funny when she was leaving and I called her "Nana Grasshopper" and told her she still had much to learn *giggles*

Later last night, I was watching one of my recorded episodes of Wife Swap. Most of these I've seen, so I end up erasing them and not watching them again .. but this one was new. By the time it was over, I needed a good mental flossing to get the bits of stupidity out from my gray matter that had gotten stuck there. With the exception of my ex-husband, I am not sure I have ever seen that much ignorance and stupidity concentrated in one person. Ever. In. My. Life.

This family is the most superficial bunch of idiots ever. The man actually said, "I've only seen my wife without her makeup once. I'm glad she wears it all the time."

He also went on to say that she sold him on this whole package, the blonde hair, the being thin, the makeup, and that he expects that she should maintain the package exactly as she sold it. It is to the point that this woman goes to bed with her makeup on, gets up before he does to reapply, dresses to the 9's every single morning, down to her stiletto heeled "hooker boots" as they called them, and wears that outfit while she gets on her hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor and do all the rest of her housework. Can. You. Imagine?!

They are very appearance conscious. They make sure that they and their children are always dressed in name labels, always have hair fixed and makeup on. They push their children, boy age 7, and baby, age 1, to win everything. Football, wrestling, pageants. They yell at the kids if they don't win everything. The baby is in pageants .. she lost one and the dad and son were crying. Yes, CRYING. Because Baby did not win!   She's 1. Hello?

It was absolutely ridiculous.

Now, the reason that I'm writing this is because, even though I know I'll forget the rest of this show within another day or two, there was one thing that the dad said that I absolutely will never forget.

Swap Mom said something to the effect that they are all superficial and worry more about labels and how they look than what they are teaching their children. That the mother is just a trophy to him .. an accessory. She asked him if that was what he wanted for his daughter .. for her to be some man's accessory.

He said, and I quote, "Well, I think that she will grow up to be someone's accessory."

It's not just WHAT he said, it was how he said it. Like it was totally okay with him, and even expected.

I think the Swap Mom's look of horror was a mirror of my own. Who would ever WANT that for their children??? I wanted to smack him. With a 2 x 4.

If anyone treated my daughter like that, you'd be more likely to see me on Jerry Springer than Wife Swap ;)

Ironically, I don't even remember that family's name.

Ta-Da

2009-10-30T18:06:00.002-04:00

Random Thursday

2009-10-29T11:09:00.001-04:00

My BFF, Chica, posted a link on her wall on facebook for a group called "To Write Love On Her Arms." It's a depression awareness group. I'm all for making people aware, so I joined too. You're supposed to write "Love" on your arm, take a picture, and post it, for the awareness thing, and to show that there is support and help for those that need it. So, I did. I used dry erase markers, thinking that they would wash off easier than a Sharpie. I wrote "love" on my arm in big bubble letters and colored them red, then outlined with green and blue .. lame, but it was the best I could do at the time.

Anyway, I didn't wash it off because, honestly, I forgot it was there, and I went to bed.   Well, I was correct in my assumption that dry erase markers come off easier. Where my arm was bent while I slept, the color transferred from my forearm to my upper arm and at some point to my pillows, sheets, comforter, and somehow my thigh.

There's a lot of love in that bed.

Speaking of Facebook. I was playing one of the games. This game has a 1 minute time limit to get as many points as you can .. and I've been competing with a few friends. Well, I was playing while waiting for Pookie to get out of the shower and all of a sudden the little "Publish" window popped up in my face. It said "Where has the time gone? Kay just played 40 complete games in a row!"

How's it gonna call me out like that? It might as well have popped up a message that said, "You're young-ish, single , it's a Friday night and you're at home playing Bejeweled. You. Are. The. Weakest. Link.   Goodbye."

On to the Pookster's costume. I probably won't post anymore pics until Friday night after I drop her off at the dance. She is gonna look too cute though. I was talkin to my baby sister (who is 18), who says that it looks "very retro."   I'm thinking my love of Cyndi Lauper back in the day has something to do with that, 'cause it really is shaping up to look very Cyndi.

Rough Draft

2009-10-24T08:15:00.001-04:00

So, we worked on some punkin stuff .. get it? punkin? like, pumpkin, 'cause it's almost Halloween .. or the punk in punk rock ?

it's funny, right?

ok maybe not so much. It sounded great in my head though.

Before I over-explained it.

Soooooo, anyway .. we started the costume and here's what we have so far.

I'm not totally in love with the thing that's going on in the back of this skirt, so it'll probably get changed about 300 times in the next week, but it's a start ;)

She's precariously held together with approximately 4,675 safety pins to keep the skirt up in the front and down in the back and the little pieces of gauze all over the place. If any one of them pops, the whole thing my fall apart. I and my slip are covered in glitter from the little gauzy fairy skirt thingamies .. so, we (my slip and I) are very sparkly.

Like a holiday.

Stay tuned to punk rock central for more updates.

Same punk time.

Same punk channel

for the same

little Punk.

How To Make A Punk Rock Princess

2009-10-23T07:40:00.000-04:00

So, how do we make a punk rock princess? I'm not quite sure how we do it. I'm just thrilled that Pookie didn't want to be a cat, or a fairy ... again.

So, I figure we'll start with this old slip from one of my formals back in the day.

Then, we'll add a little of this. Isn't that cute? We found it at Goodwill for less than $1.

then maybe a splash of this gauze stuff, which we grabbed at the Dollar Tree where everything's $1. I love that store lol. The gauze was from the little "fairy skirt" costumes they had. Three of them for $3. We've since decided we probably won't use that black shirt, which we dug out of the recessess of my closet.

then we have some pink hair extensions ($1) which I'm not sure we're going to use now that I've had another thought. Ohhh and the glow-sticks ($1). I have plans for those glow-sticks.

Ya know, this inundation of thoughts is giving me a little headache, right behind my eyes. Or it could be my sinuses rebelling against the drastic weather changes. I'm blaming Halloween though.

then, we have these lovely clunky looking boots. They were the best I could do on short notice. I have a request in Freecycle for some combat boots, but just in case, we found these at Goodwill for $3.

and then we'll top it off with this little make-up kit ($3) that looks kinda punky and figure out something to do with the little party favor tiara combs ($1).

I'm planning to spend another $6 for some temporary hair dye, so that will bring our grand total to $19 for this costume. By far, the cheapest one we've ever had ;)
Stay tuned, I'll post our progress as we go ;)

I already have my ideas for what we're gonna do with all this stuff, but any suggestions will be evaluated, perhaps scoffed at, most definitely giggled about, and then perhaps even used ;)

Cats, homeland security and a punk rock princess

2009-10-22T11:20:00.004-04:00

Once upon a time, way back in 1998, a little Pookie was born. Pookie's mom worked in a hospital as a medical transcriptionist then, but shortly after her Pookiness was born, her mother decided to transition to working at home ... because she figured that, though there are many good day care agencies around, it was her job to screw her kid up, she didn't need any help from day care.

So, here we are, nearly 12 years later ... still working at home. There are so many people that, on finding out that I work at home, think that is must be the best thing since sliced bread, 'cause after all, I don't have to get up early to fix my hair or makeup or even get dressed.

The journey from the bedroom to the office usually isn't too bad either. Sometimes the hallway gets some congested traffic, what with the kid and her friends and the cats, but overall, it's a pretty pleasant commute.

However, when you have a people person, like me, stuck in a house ... by herself ... with no one to interact with except the cats .. it does create a bit of cabin fever. After a while, you tend to hermitize yourself. You have long conversations with the cats, or the various insects that find their way into your house. As my friends would tell you, I wasn't "quite right" to begin with, but when you combine that with being in the house by myself for a good chunk of time out of the last 12 years, and being too broke to really go out and do things very often .. around people .. you get the not-quite-rightness and sometimes downright-craziness that you witness in this blog (and that's just the stuff that I let people know!)

I have to say I would not suggest this job to anyone that is not part of a 2-income family. This is not by-the-hour work, it is piece work. You get paid only for what you get done. If there is no work to do (which happens more often than you'd think it would, even though I work for 3 (yes count them .. 1, 2, 3) rather large teaching hospitals and clinics, because the doctors seem to think they don't really have to dictate until they get the 6-month warning that they are about to lose their hospital privileges if they don't get their dictations done), you do not get paid. Most of these companies (and I have worked for several over the last 12 years) only hire independent contractors, which means .. no benefits, no vacation, no nothing. The ones that do hire on employee status are no walk in the park either. You get benefits, but .. if you have no work to do .. having to pay for those benefits takes a chunk of money that, if you're a single income family, you cannot afford to pay.

So, I was wading through the void that is my checkbook a few days ago because, once again, the work load had dwindled to nearly nothing and my paychecks don't have enough juice to light the darkness. There are cobwebs growing in my bank account. I think I found some mildew on the ceiling, but it's dark in there, so I didn't really go exploring much.

I threw the wallet down in disgust and made an announcement to the cats. "I have had enough!" and I shook my fist for emphasis. The cats were totally into it, hanging on my every word. "I'm going back to school so I can get out of this God-forsaken field of work!"

M.K. curled up in my lap and purred her blessing.

Sukai farted and exited the room.

So, we have some mixed feelings from the cats about this.

Anyway, I decided what I want to be when I grow up, now that I'm 30, with 8 years experience. My BFF, Paula, thought it was totally cool and that the classes sound like fun .. until I got to the Terrorism and Homeland Security course that I have to take, then she just started giggling really hard. I'm not sure why. It was something about me thinking that the best way to deal with terrorists is to "SHOOT THEM IN THE FACE!" or something like that, I think.

Our local university offers the degree I want completely online, so I'll be able to get a BS in Criminal Justice by the time Pookie is around 16, and then can complete whatever hours I'll need to get the Forensics degree by taking night classes, 'cause she'll be old enough to stay by herself for a couple hours without me worrying she'll burn the house down while I'm gone.

In the meantime, I've been checking out the school district job postings to see if I could find something part time to supplement my sucky work load. I found what I thought on first glance was an opening at Pookie's school (wouldn't she be thrilled??!) .. but on second look found that it was another school with a similar name that's in the worst part of town. The conversation with someone, who shall remain un-named, went something like this.

Me: Crap, that job's in the bad part of town. I won't even drive through there in broad daylight, there's no way I'm going to go and stay for a good chunk of the day.

Them: Well if you go into Criminal Justice you're going to have to go down there for work sometimes.

Me: Yeah, but they'll send me with a gun.

Them: Not if they're smart.

Pfft ...I'm a good shot, and have an even temper ...

*blinkblink*

what?

And ya know, after I'd decided to go into this field, like, just yesterday or so, I realized that one of the greatest perks of the job field that this will open up for me is that .....

When I go to work, I will be surrounded by men in uniform.

Yay me!

On another note, my Pookie has decided to be a Punk Rock Princess for Halloween .... I'm making the costume ... and she'll be attending her first ever school dance on Halloween. I'll post pics when she's all dressed up ;)

this sounds familiar ...

2009-10-17T12:46:00.004-04:00

this sounds like conversations i've had with pookie ...

My line of thought is squiggly ...

2009-10-13T09:28:00.007-04:00

I'm not sure where I'm going to end up with this post, but I'm going to start with this kitten that my Pookie wanted to keep out of our litter. Her name is actually Sukai, but I call her Susie Snot-a-Lot. I'm not sure exactly what is going on in her little cat brain, but she stalks me through the house so that she can sneeze on me. Seriously. I can hear her snuffling and meowing from the next room. When she finds me, she climbs my leg ...doesn't matter if I'm standing or sitting, she climbs my leg ... sneezes and blows kitty snot all over me, jumps down and goes to find her sister, M.K. (short for Mary Katherine Gallagher), or Pookie. Pookie, of course, thinks it's hilarious and starts giggling when she hears me say, "Hi there Sukai, did ya need to sneeze again?"

She is a cat of many names. Sukai, Susie Snot-a-Lot, the Gray-White Hunter

Her specialty is catching chairs, but she's not half bad at catching my arm and then gnawing on it like a corn on the cob.

This has been a horrible year for spiders. I don't know where they keep coming from. I've killed more spiders in this house in the last month than I've seen in here in the last 4 years . I've gone through a bazillion and a half cans of hairspray killing those little buggers. I've hairsprayed them, painted them and had scarespiders hanging all over the place to no avail. They just keep coming. On my adventures in shopping, I found this little gem

Do you see that? It KILLS ON CONTACT. That is a little white lie. It does kill them, but it fails to mention that before they die they will go crazy, stand on their head, and then RUN DIRECTLY AT YOU, which may possibly make you shriek like a girl while dancing backwards across the kitchen, clocking yourself in the back of the head with the open cabinet door and climb on top of the counter that holds the scalding hot toaster oven where you just toasted your English muffins, where you might stay until the spider goes into its final death throes and finally curls up and dies.
I'm not saying that WILL happen, just that it COULD.
There must be a nest of these little freaks behind my sink and dishwasher, 'cause that's where they keep showing up. Big, black, hairy, 8-legged freaks. They stare at me, daring me to make a move.
I think they can smell fear.
I need a spider killin' super hero

Maria and Scary Mary

2009-10-08T12:35:00.001-04:00

It starts with a B, has a C in it and ends with a slap

2009-10-07T11:53:00.005-04:00

Pookie is still trying to adjust to middle school. Being airheaded as she is, it's obviously not easy to get used to changing classes and having to remember which books she needs out of her locker, and having to be responsible. As a result, her grades have started to slip. She has an agenda. All the kids have one. The teachers have a huge calendar on a white board where they write all the assignments, usually for a week at a time. The kids are supposed to copy this down into their agendas. It's usually only maybe 8 or 9 words at most, for each class. The agenda is then brought home, looked over by the parent and signed. That way we know if there was homework, or a quiz, or if the teacher needed to send a note home, they usually write it right in the agenda, to make sure it gets home.

This is not something new. This has been going on since the 2nd grade when we moved to this school district. However, what -is- new is the fact that it now counts as a grade. If it is not filled in or signed by the parent, it is a 0. If it is, it's 100. Every week.

My Pookie has gotten straight A's for the most part since starting school, with little to no effort on her part. She soaks up knowledge like a sponge and then spews it out at, sometimes, the worst moments ... but she learns it, nonetheless. She's gotten a couple B's, but they have never been below a 90.

So far this year, she has a low low low B average in 2 of her classes, and a C ... a stinking C ... IN BAND. How do you get a C in Band, you might ask? Why, by not showing up for lunchtime practice. All she had to do was show up.

So, I have checked out Edline and seen what is bringing her grades down. Wanna know why she has low grades? Anyone that has been with me on this blog for the last year or so .. say it with me. "She forgot to turn her work in and she forgot to fill in her agenda."

It's not that she doesn't DO the work. She just forgets to take it with her, get it out of her binder and hand it to the teacher. And now ... NOW .. the agenda counts as a grade as well.

So, I called her away from the drawing frenzy she had been in for a few hours and asked her, quite calmly I might add, "Why for is it that you are getting zeros for your agenda, dear daughter of mine, when all you have to do is write a few words in each class and then bring it to your loving mother who will happily sign it with a flourish and a smile?"

My darling daughter, with a very solemn face, replied, "Why mother, it is because my hand crampeth mightily when I have to write."

This from the girl who can draw for hours on end, or play her online RPG with friends for hours without the slightest twinge of pain, but yet 8 words give her writer's cramps.

Seriously?

So, I replied to this with, "Really? You're gonna stand there and tell me you have writer's cramp from writing a total of roughly 32 words in your agenda a day? That has got to be the LAMEST excuse I have ever heard."

The little twirp was standing there trying to keep a straight face during all of this, so I thought I'd help her out with that. I told her that if I get one more report that she's gotten a zero on her agenda that not only will she lose all computer privileges, as well as all drawing materials and all books (which would be horrifying enough for her), but I will also be coming to her school the following Monday, when I'm off and can dedicate the whole day to embarassing my daughter, at the start of every class to stand beside her desk and hold her hand while she copies the stuff off the board and into her agenda. Not only will I stand there, but I will announce to the entire class that I am there because my daughter can't seem to do what she's supposed to do without her mommy there to help her.

Now, knowing her mother as she does, the thought was rather horrifying for her, I believe. Because she knows I'll do it. And I'll embarrass her in front of everyone she knows, as well as a lot of people she doesn't, because I don't care what those other kids think ... my daughter is not going to slack off and get away with it. I'm just nice like that :)

So, we'll see how she does from now on. lol

In other news, someone called about the last kitten today ... and then proceeded to keep me on the phone for 30 minutes, telling me all about her life, her husband and her kids. She's 21, he's 27, they have 3 kids, all a year apart, and another one on the way. He's in school, she's a stay at home mom. They just moved to the area, etc., and then at the end of the conversation, asked if it was okay if she kept my number, because I seem nice and she'd like to talk to me more sometime and maybe hang out. I kinda laughed and said, sure if you wanna hang out with an old lady. She said, and I quote, "Oh I don't care, my mom is 42 and I love hanging out with her."

Just what everyone wants to hear from some young thing. Oh, you're almost as old as my mother.

I'm gonna deliver the cat to her, 'cause she's just across town.

And then I'm gonna slap her.

Saturday Randomness

2009-10-03T21:07:00.003-04:00

After I posted on Thursday, my grandpa went out to talk to the heating/air conditioning guys that were supposed to be coming out to give me heat. You know, the ones that said that it would be next Thursday before they could get the parts in, remember? Anyway, the guy that owns this company was actually my grandfather's student back in the day. Grandpa taught heating and air conditioning at the Vo-Tech. Grandpa told the dude that he would call his friend, who is the supplier of the parts that they needed .. and he was very nicely told by Snotty Heating Dude that unless his "Friend had magical powers" that the part was not going to come any faster. Mmhmm.

So, a few hours later, my phone rang and I was very nicely told by my friendly neighborhood heat thingamy fixer-upper (not the snotty one, but one of the little worker bees, who actually is quite nice) that he had gone by the warehouse and "miraculously" the parts were there, all ready for him. So, he came out and fixed us up that evening before he went home. He seemed genuinely shocked that the parts were there so fast and said that he didn't know what happened, but he was glad to get my heat fixed for me. I told him my grandpa has super powers .. that's how it happened :-)

So, anyway, now that I have heat .. I've done about 700 loads of laundry.

Yes, all that laundry piled up in 2 days. I blame the lack of heat.

What?

Oh and I also decided to makes some rolls from scratch, 'cause I'm domestic like that sometimes. I made Pookie help me and after the first little bit of whining, she decided that it was fun to knead the dough :p

Don't they look nummy?

what's that spotted thing, you ask? Why, it's my Holstein teapot. It goes with the rest of the farmy/coca cola kinda thing going on in my kitchen :) Weird mix, I know .. but it works :)

Oh, and go watch this. It's kinda really cool .. if ya like that kind of thing, which I do .. which is why I'm showing you :p

No problem .. we're cool.

2009-10-01T08:45:00.003-04:00

I watched 300 for the 2nd .. or 12th .. time last night. I let the kidling watch it with me 'cause she likes blood and guts and gore and violence ... and 'cause nobody should ever be denied hearing Gerard Butler shrieking "THIS .... IS ...... SPARTAAAAAAA!!!"

ok, so that is not quite like the movie, but it makes me giggle.

So, anyway, we were cuddled up in bed watching 300 ... and why were we cuddled up in bed, you ask? Why, because we have no heat .. that's why. The heat pump went kerflooey in the most kerflooeyest way. Apparently, the blower motor became unbalanced somehow and because it was unbalanced, it broke the bracket that was holding it up and shot it off the side of the unit and it fall down go boom. Then, yucky burnt plastic smell came through the vents and I had to turn it off. It took the guys 2 days to come out here and check it out. TWO days. the first night was not so bad, it stayed around 65 in the house .. yay insulation!

The second night .. not so great. It only got up to about 55 during the day outside, so no extra heat from the warm warm sun. We woke up to a 61 degree house. The grandparents came over yesterday to bring us some space heaters, which was quite kind since the temperature dropped to 38 last night. We were nice and cozy warm though .. We've closed off the back end of the house where the bedrooms are and have the heaters running, keeping it about 70 back here. Of course, if we want something to eat, we have to bundle up like eskimos to go to the kitchen.

So, dude comes out yesterday, finds the problem, carries off the blower motor and says he has to order parts.

Of course he has to order them. Why would they keep them in stock, at the beginning of winter? Why would they ever want to have parts IN STOCK so they can fix HEATERS ... in the WINTER? I know, it's crazy to me too.

So, anyway, they have 2 parts in stock, but not the 3rd and obviously most important one. The brackets. It's going to take 5 business days to get the bracket.

Yes. FIVE.

I have no heat until the end of next week.

Well, except the space heaters. So, to be fair, I guess what I should say is ... We are confined to the bedrooms and bathroom until the end of next week. ARGH.

But .. no problem, we're cool. teehee .. ok yeah, that was bad, even for me :p

Anyway, I told you that story to tell you this.

I've discovered why it is that the Spartans were always so angry.

They were cold.

As tough as they were already, how tough do you suppose they would have been if they had been wearing armor instead of spandex man panties and superman capes? If they had been a bit warmer and more covered up, they probably would have been unstoppable.

Or, maybe they just needed a hug.

I'm going with the warmth and armor thing though.

Wild Child

2009-09-29T11:38:00.004-04:00

A long-time friend of mine told me not long ago that I am not the care-free, spontaneous, devil-may-care, walk-the-wild-side girl I used to be anymore. I've become a boring, hermitized grown up.

The nerve!

I am NOT a grown up!!!

I don't know what he's talking about anyway. I'm spontaneous, dangit. I have spontaneity penciled in on Mondays.

Between 2 and 4.

I'm all kinds of spontaneous.

I still walk on the wild side too. I laugh in the face of danger .. muahahahaha!
and I run with scissors while laughing in danger's face ... and just yesterday I stuck a fork in the toaster ... oven. And I didn't even turn it off first. so there!

I am a rule breaker too. I am. I never preheat the oven first, I don't let the car warm up before I go places, I don't chew my food 12 times, as recommended, I swim right after I eat, I don't always separate the clothes before I wash them, and just this morning I ripped the "do not remove by penalty of law" tags off my (4 year old) mattress.

Heh. I don't know what's wrong with him. I'm not a grown up and all domesticated and stuff. I'm a wild woman! I'm gonna run in his house with my scissors and cut his mattress tags off. That'll learn him, dern him.

I think he's just jealous.

'cause I still have all my hair

Rawr!

Flower-filled Thursday and a Smile

2009-09-24T10:06:00.006-04:00

I was out saving my flowers from the weeds and decided to take some pictures to share.

Ok, it wasn't just to share them, it was because I don't know half of what I'm growing out there and I was wondering if anyone might know what these pretty orange flowers are?

We planted seeds in the spring to get them started in the house and, while I can grow pretty much anything outside .. indoors they don't do so well. Only 2 of these survived to be transplanted, but they spread out and have a fringy viney thing going on that I really like. Between them and the hens & chicks, they have taken over the bathtub/planter and I'd love to find them again for next year. Pookie somehow managed to get the packet that the seeds came in .. the only piece of trash that I would actually need later .. to the trash can. It's amazing really, since she rarely makes it to the trash can with anything else.

Aren't they pretty?? :)

My grandmother dug these purple ones up out of her yard to bring to me a few years ago. They get pretty tall and spread more and more every year and have filled up one end of the flower bed. The rain beat them down a few days ago. I have no clue what they are either. lol

This is my lone spider flower. I had tons of them last year and they re-seed themselves, but I dumped a ton of mulch on the bed this year and this is the only one that managed to come up through all of that. It decided to come up right in the middle of a clump of tiger lilies.

I have no idea what this is. I don't think it has any idea what it is either. It looks like grass, clover and some kinda tentacle-y arm. I got a couple of these from a lady that was thinning out her flowers .. they never bloomed, but it looks kinda cool.

That same lady gave me some little tiny clumps of lamb's ear. This is what they did .. from little tiny clumps. That's just from this summer. The clump we started with was like 3 leaves.

And this one .. another one we started in the house. I have no clue what it is. It's the only one I have ... the bugs think it is yummy though.

My cosmos are still trying to bloom and have so far refused to give up the ghost. I had one that grew over 6 feet tall and had a "stem" that was 3 inches around at least. I thought I was gonna have to get an axe to cut that sucker down .. but the same storm that got the purple flowers got Gigantor Cosmo.

As you may have noticed, my shots of the flowers are kinda close up. That's 'cause I didn't want everyone to be jealous when they saw the lushest, softest, loverliest grass in all the land that I grow .... in my flower garden. I can't grow it in the yard .. but boy can I grow it in the flower bed.

Pookie had a science project in school where they made a greenhouse kinda deal out of soda bottles to grow grass. Everyone's bottles filled up with tons of grass in just a few days. Everyone's but Pookie's.

She has 3 little blades of grass. I took a picture, but the flash on the bottle keeps ya from seeing the poor little grass.

I told her to tell her teacher to throw a flower seed in there and it would fill up with grass, 'cause .. ya know .. she is her mother's daughter ;)

I'm back to work now, but I'll leave you with one last thought.

When you have a really bad day and you feel like ripping your hair out, screaming, kicking things, throwing things, having a tantrum, crying or just generally flipping off the world ... when you feel like you may never smile again. Think of my little scarecrow here.

She has been beaten by storms, covered with snow, whacked in the head by an errant hoe, peed on by stray dogs, and always has a stick up her behind

but she can still stand there with a big goofy smile ... and so can you *grins*

Feel the Love

2009-09-11T20:13:00.004-04:00

Pookie is gone for the weekend again. It's just as well .. she's not allowed to speak to me for a couple days. I'm not answering the phone if she calls either.

There are kittens where she is.

They are staying where she is.

They are not coming home with her.

They. Are. Not.

I know she'll try, 'cause I have the zombie rot, which is the precursor to the mutant zombie bubonic plague. I shoulda named that child "Petri." She brings home the most lovely array of mutant germies in the world.

So, now I have the zombie rot. I've been sniffling and snuffling and snorting and whining. There's been lots of whining. Petri doesn't care though. She just laughs at me. She's mean.

She was laying in my bed. My.Bed. watching tv. Amidst all my whining and groaning coming from the office, she went and made herself something for dinner.

Did she ask if I wanted anything? No, she did not.

Did she give me any sympathy whatsoever when I lurched into the bedroom, puffy-eyed, sniffling, sneezing, and coughing and said, "I'm so sick that even my hair hurts and you didn't even ask me if you could make me dinner?"

No, she did not. She said, "You're not too sick to go in the kitchen and push a button, mom ... and it's impossible for your hair to hurt."

*le sigh* Feel the love.

I guess I'm not getting the Oscar for best sick mommy performance, huh?

Pfft. I'm going back to bed now.

I have a mean daughter.

And my hair hurts.

A poetry kinda day

2009-09-02T20:23:00.006-04:00

I'm totally not feeling the bloggy writing thing, so today .. you get a poem. I wrote this a couple years ago, I believe, for a poetry challenge in the forum I'm a part of. We were supposed to write about where we are from, but not just the location. We were supposed to write a list of things we remembered from our yesterdays, memories of growing up, and make it into a poem. I hadn't written anything for a while (and haven't since) .. and my friend encouraged (demanded) me to do this challenge to keep my poetic juices flowing, so to speak. I whined and moaned and said I was too tired and I couldn't .. but she persisted, and this is what I grudgingly came up with, just to shut her up.

This past Christmas it was framed and given to each of the people mentioned in it. I almost didn't do it .. but am glad I did, since one of them is no longer with us.

Roots

I'm from
a sleepy, lazy, no-horse town
that lies along a river proud
up a holler, 'cross a creek
just below the mountain's peak

I'm from
the yummy smell of grandma's pies
with apples grown 'neath country skies
and damson jelly, freshly canned,
grown with love, on family land

I'm from
walking to the park alone
without my mom, and feeling grown,
from hiking hills with family
to chop down our own Christmas tree

I'm from
sledding in the winter chill
traipsing up and down the hill
with sisters bundled, toes to crown,
who squealed a lot as we flew down

I'm from
cherry-pit wars up in the trees,
childhood fears and scraped up knees,
from monsters underneath the bed,
or maybe they were in my head.

I'm from
the unending love of a too-young mother,
from football games with my grandfather,
from hauling wood in for the fire
and pushing sisters on swing-tires

I'm from
line dried clothes and sudden storms
and country air and family farms,
and a stepfather who did perfect
riding backwards on cows, without a net

I'm from
Lawrence Welk and Little House
and Dr. Who and Santa Mouse,
from frog and cricket symphony,
and the laughter of my family.

I'm from
roots deep in these mountains that spread from sea to sea,
from everywhere and nowhere that any eye can see,
I'm from humble beginnings, and I'll be from humble ends
but I am rich in knowing I'm held safely in God's hands

You realize, of course, This Means War.

2009-08-23T11:33:00.003-04:00

Back in October of last year when I had the zombie plague aka pneumonia, my lovely, sweet, caring daughter called while out with her friend to ask if she could please, please bring home this little kitten that she found on the side of the road because she knew that, having the zombie plague, I would agree to pretty much anything just to get her to leave me alone so I could sleep. So, she brought home this poor little kitten that she found on the side of the road. In a box. With its brothers and sisters. Where it was being given away by its owners. She failed to mention that part, because she knows her mother is a sucker for abandoned animals.

That little kitten was infested with fleas. Not just a couple here and there. She was crawling with them. I didn't realize this until I had somewhat recovered from the zombie plague .. and by then it was too late. We lost that kitten because of the fleas, they were just too much for her.

I thought we'd taken care of our flea problem, but it seems they were just biding their time, perhaps doing recon for the last 10 months. There has been a sudden uprising in the last month. They are crawling out of the woodwork, goose-stepping through my living room, office and both bedrooms.

They are staging a hostile takeover.

I first realized the problem -after- the kittens were born, of course. I had to research to find out how to best treat the babies because, of course, you cannot use flea killing stuff on babies. I did find out that Frontline is okay to use on the mommy, even if she's still nursing, so I did that. I was thrilled to find out that the babies get a bit of the medicine through mom's milk, which keeps the little biters at bay.

I still have the problem of the house though. These little buggers are everywhere!! I've used Sargeants Flea Free Breeze and Hartz Home Spray (which works, but not for very long). I've bombed and bombed with various different bombs (the cheap ones) .. and I've finally given in. I bought the super-dee-duper, nothing-left-standing bombs that not only kill fleas, cock-a-roaches, spiders, silverfish, ants and various other baddies, but it has an insect growth regulator in it to keep the eggs from hatching and it supposedly works for up to 7 months.

Those babies are getting set off tonight when we leave. We're going to see a play at the amphitheater in one of our state parks :) The theater troupe that performs around here has a donation night on their last performance. Donate a non-perishable food item, and that pays your ticket. Cool, huh? :) Pookie is all excited. She loves going to these plays every summer. They've done a few old favorites, like Cinderella, Charlotte's Web, Hatfields & McCoys, Honey in the Rock, and Wizard of Oz ... and those are just the ones I can remember. I used to go years ago with a friend.

So, anyway, I am waging war on these little biters. I expect to see them all belly up when I get home, with little chalk outlines drawn around their murdered insect bodies. If it kills spiders too, like it says, I'll be pushing the product like a crack dealer. The more spiders I can kill with the fogger, the less hairspray and mousse I'll have to use to freeze/drown/smother them from a distance. Yes, I know, it's very amusing for you non-arachnaphobic people ... Pookie thinks it's hysterical to see their little frozen bodies hanging all over the place too.

The dog will be thrilled to be allowed back in the house. She's been dosed with Frontline, but I want to kill the flipping flea circus before I bring her back in here. Poor thing probably thinks I'm mad at her because she's been banished to the outside .. where there are less fleas to bite her.

I also got a spot of advice from grandpa. Lyme will keep fleas, snakes, as well as several other buggies out of the yard, and will keep those rotten, evil deer from eating all my sunflowers!

That information might have been useful about 3 months ago .. but whatever, I know for next year now lol

And what have we learned from this whole ordeal?

Pookie is not allowed to speak to me when I'm sick with the mutant bubonic zombie plague .. ever again.

Today, We Cry

2009-08-15T08:56:00.005-04:00

My stepfather has been the source of much laughter and happiness since I was quite little. I'm not sure how old I was, but there are only one or two of my memories that he was not a part of. He took me in as a child and raised me as his own. I have been blessed with 2 daddies.

It took years for me to feel this way. When I was little, I called him daddy once and he told me no, he was not "daddy." He told me that I had a daddy and he was not there to replace him ... and I, being about 6, did not understand that. There was a lot of turmoil between us as I grew up because of that single interaction. Obviously he didn't love me, because he wouldn't let me call him daddy, right? I threw it in his face several times through my teens, "you're not my DADDY, remember??" And what do you suppose he did? He had the nerve to just keep on loving me anyway.

When we moved to WV when I was 8, he searched high and low for just the right horse for me .. a spirited colt, which he broke himself. Or rather, she broke him. I'm not sure exactly which happened lol. That rotten horse loved him, though.

He would spend hours and hours in his shop, hand loading bullets or building gun stocks, carving them, making things, fixing things .. and I would just hang out down there with him "helping."

He taught me to shoot when we first moved here too. They have a 64 acre farm up on the mountain, so we had plenty of room up there. We used cow-patties as targets .. hehe. Explosive fun! After a while, he would take me on top of the hill and point out leaves in the pond that lay on the other side, down in the valley, and have me shoot those. I'm actually an excellent shot, because of him.

He taught me to drive on a 4-speed GMC truck, out in the field. My mother would grab my baby sisters (who were 5 and 1 at the time), take them in to the house and lock the door when I got behind the wheel. I'm not sure what she thought she was accomplishing 'cause really, if I wanted in I'm pretty sure the truck would have gone right through *grins*

He is extremely smart, as well as being terribly silly. He makes us all giggle on a pretty regular basis. I don't think I've been around him at all in the last 10 years that he has not had me in hysterics at least once during each visit. Between spider conspiracy theories and deer training he is always a great source of giggling.

I have learned much from my stepfather over the years. He is the most moral man I have ever met. Honest to a fault. He is truly a jack-of-all-trades and is always tinkering with something. One of his trades is gunsmithing and would build guns for people, or do carvings on the stocks for them, and then proceed to point out every single flaw, even the most minute. Even the ones that you cannot see while they're being pointed out to you.
He and my mother have had their ups and downs for the last 33 years, but they have always come through them. Both of them are stubborn as rocks and refuse to ever give up on each other. I have rarely seen a love that could weather -any- storm .. but I've seen a couple, and my mother and stepfather are one of those.

I have been truly, truly blessed to have 2 daddies.

One of my daddies was taken from us Thursday night when my stepfather died suddenly and sent us all reeling in shock that will not soon leave us. There is, and will ever be, a huge void in all of our hearts with his loss. He was the backbone of our family, the level headed one, the fixer of all things. My mother has lost her other half, my sisters their daddy, and I .. I have lost this man that loved another man's child, that took care of her as his own, this man that I love for being there for me, no matter what .. my 2nd father.

Please pray for my family, my mother especially. She needs it so much right now. I know the sun will shine again, the tears will eventually stop and only make an appearance occasionally. One day we'll smile again. I know the world will keep on spinning and we have to spin with it, whether we like it or not. It seems right now that our world has stopped and the rest of you are just spinning on past us, though. Tomorrow and tomorrow, we will smile when the sun breaks through the clouds and touches us once more, but today ... today, we cry.

Wordless Pookie Art Wednesday

2009-08-12T07:00:00.000-04:00

Monday Ramblings

2009-08-10T21:20:00.006-04:00

So, there I was, enjoying a scalding hot shower, just letting the water beat on my sore, sore muscles. It was my first uninterrupted shower in a week. Not my first shower in a week, just the first one that didn't include someone popping their head into the bathroom to send a barrage of questions over the shower curtain. Needless to say, I was loving my solitary shower time ... totally a Calgon moment .. even though Calgon is more for baths than showers .. but I don't really like baths. Erm.. anyway ... there I was, my muscles were relaxing, the ache was melting a bit under the water and all of a sudden, there he was. Furry little 8-legged freak dropped down on his silken web right in front of my face. I shrieked and realized with my very first movement that my daughter had been using my vanilla buttercream sugar scrub in the tub. For those of you that don't know, vanilla buttercream sugar scrub is -very- slippery. I slid across the tub, slammed my face into the wall Right.Next.To. that hairy little freak, shrieked again, clawed at the shower curtain and finally got out alive. There was no hairspray, so I had to drown it with mousse. He had lots of body as he took his ride down the septic seaway.

By the way, after writing and posting this .. I've come to the conclusion that this spider must have been a kid still .. since he just -had- to interrupt me in the shower. Just thought I'd share that.

My $300 car had some technical difficulties on the day of Teacher's wedding. She decided she was tired and just quit on the way there. Shocker, huh? I guess it was partially my fault. Well, the break down was not my fault, that was just simple mechanics. However, it may possibly be partially my fault that I wasn't prepared for it. It's been doing weird stuff for months now and I did what any responsible car owner would do when they hear strange noises coming from the car. I turned the radio up.

Apparently, as I've been told several times in the last week, turning the radio up does not keep the fuel pump from crapping out, which was information that would have been useful a couple weeks ago, so I got stranded halfway between here and my hometown, and had to call the cavalry to rescue me. After calling several different parts stores on the Monday after the wedding, I finally found the part I needed and my mechanic got it all fixed up for me, 'cause he's cool like that. He always treats me like I'm his kid when he has to fix something for me. This time was no exception. He brought the Blazer to me when he was done and gave me instructions to keep at least a quarter tank of gas and preferably a half tank, at all times, to keep the fuel pump from burning up again. I, of course, hung on his every word and will make sure to do just that ... never you mind that my gas gauge is hovering around the E ;)

My day is ending now with a spectacular lightning show outside my window. The streaks of light are making the drops of water glitter on the picture window, the rain is drumming on the roof, thunder is shaking the house ... I love thunderstorms :) and now, off to bed i go .. ni ni !

Weddings and babies

2009-08-09T00:13:00.007-04:00

I'm so glad the wedding is over. I've reached my quota on going to my hometown for the year. I told mom I'm not coming back until November .. and only then if I can't convince them all to come here for Thanskgiving. They cooked tons .. and I helped! (I know at least one person has to remember that commercial .... am I dating myself there?)

We filled up the fridge .. literally. See?

It's a good thing my mom owns a store. We filled up all the coolers there too. The walk-in cooler was more of a maze-ish hop-through kinda thing.

There were people wandering around all over the lawn, trying to find even a scrap of shade to huddle in.

I think these people were just lurching through the yard looking for water. Or they could have been zombies. I'm not sure.

After the ceremony, the lovely couple had pictures on the bridge. Pretty, huh?

And when it was all over, they were sent off with fireworks ;) The humidity caused the smoke to hang in the air a bit heavier than normal ... but it was still pretty :)

In the midst of all the wedding stuff going on for the last few weeks, we had babies. Well, -we- didn't have them, but our cat did. You remember our cat, right? Ryuuutarunga Argakongatangaflurgle .. yeah .. she had 5 kittens. very cute :)

Here's a couple of 'em. They're 3 weeks old now.

I'm off to bed now, another day of gym torture awaits me tomorrow.

Charleston, oh how I hate you.

2009-07-29T12:19:00.003-04:00

I got a new netbook last week, because I'm special. Actually, I got it because my Bri-Bri got one as a gift for helping out a friend and he didn't need it, so he gave it to me. I just like thinking I'm special. So, anyway, it is so cool to be able to take my computer with me when I go places now. I get to lounge on the couch while I'm watchin TV in the evenings now, yay!! It's really nice to have it now while I'm sitting in the hospital waiting room with my daughter and grandfather. Grandma had to have another cardiac cath today. It's her second in as many weeks. Thankfully, they've decided it's not her heart causing her problems .... so that is a big collective sigh of relief from all of us. In the process, grandma has accomplished the impossible. I swore I'd never come back to Charleston again, ever, and I'd done so good for the last 10 years. But, here I am again. I'll probably never find the way out of this God forsaken city of one-way streets. And to add insult to injury, it's been pouring the rain since I left home early this morning. Not just raining .. pouring. Big fat drops of rain pounding on everything. Normally I love rain, but this was blinding rain, in a city I hate driving in already. Yay me!! I guess we'll be returning home soon. The rest of the week I get to work on wedding stuff. Saturday is the day .. we are all going along with the outdoor wedding, even though there has not been a dry day in the last 2 weeks. I guess we all figure that the sheer force of our will is going to keep it from raining on Saturday from 6 to 8. Wish us luck lol!

... and then?

2009-07-12T23:38:00.001-04:00

this movie was so stupid, but this scene always makes me giggle hysterically

Out of Pampers .. Oh No!

2009-07-11T18:04:00.000-04:00

Friday Ramblings

2009-07-10T09:06:00.010-04:00

There are some days that it is just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Yesterday was that day for me. To start my day, I had to crawl out of bed. Literally. Crawl. Everything was aching, which I actually like. So I was groaning a bit, but liking that muscle burny feeling compliments of my lovely lady-trainer that grins like a psychopath when I taunt her :) She wuvs me :)

That was where the bad started. The internet connection was down and I couldn't get on to work. So, I called my ISP provider, who shall remain nameless, but whose jingle goes "S_d_e_l_n_k, you're connected." It should be "Suddenly, you're disconnected."

So, after 2 hours of waiting and trying to connect, I gave in and called them. I already knew what they would tell me. It's the same thing they always tell me. It's my fault, not theirs.

Tech person .. Steve: Thank you for choosing S___link, how can I help you?

Me: I need to see if there's a cable outage in my area please.

Steve: Sure, I can help you with that. Can I have your home phone number?

Me: Sure - xxx-xxx-xxxx

Steve: I'll need you to verify your name, address, zip code and the last 4 of your social.

Me: Just to tell me if there's an outage? Fine .. blah blah blah

Steve: I'm surprised to see that you are not taking advantage of our 12-meg connection. It's a bit more expensive, but worth every cent.

Me: I doubt it.

Steve: Excuse me?

Me: The 6 meg connection that I have doesn't work right and I'm paying an arm and a leg and my first born child for that .. why do you suppose I would want to pay MORE for crappy service? Can you just tell me if it's down or not?

Steve: It shows that it's working just fine and you haven't called tech support for a long time. We can't fix it if we don't know there's something wrong.

Me: You don't fix it when you -do- know there's something wrong, dear. You guys never fix it, you just tell me it's the router.

After about 30 minutes on the phone with him telling me how I have a great signal coming into my house, power-cycling the router and the modem .. twice, then having him completely reboot the modem from where he is ... and it's STILL.NOT.WORKING....

Steve: It must be your router. It can cause slow speeds ..blah blah blah You should hook up directly to the modem.

Me: Yes, I know .. it's the router's fault. It's always the router's fault. Never S___link. This is why I don't call tech support. It takes months to convince you people it's your equipment to get you to come and replace it. The last time I had to spend a ton of money on a new router and new ethernet cables before you people would come out and change the blasted modem. Thanks. Really.

Steve: Thank you for choosing S____link.

Me: Believe me honey, if I had a choice at all ... I'd choose someone else. *click*

Now, let me say .. about 30 minutes after this call, the cable was out again, even though I hooked up to the modem like he said. About 2 hours later, we were getting hit with a humongous hailstorm.

In hindsight, I'm thinking that perhaps it was the huge iceballs hitting everything on the way here that might have been causing a problem, STEVE, because when I hooked up everything to the router this morning ....it all works again. Just like always. Steve.

In the midst of all that nonsense, I went out to the gym for my daily torture while Pookie had her swimming lesson. The nice lady loves me lots. I have to do Tai Chi a couple of times a day at home to stretch the muscles so I don't end up all gimped up when they stiffen after all her abuse, but it feels really good :) She's working me like a dog for about an hour a day for now. She says she's going to drag me to her kickboxing class as soon as SHE thinks my knee can handle it. Apparently, she doesn't trust my judgment on the matter :p

On a totally different subject ... Did you know that gray hairs grow at about 700 times the rate of normal hair? They do! I dyed my hair a couple months ago, dark brown, which is my natural color, because I got tired of the blonde. It's only grown out about an inch, which you can't really tell, because I matched up the color pretty darn well, if I don't say so myself.
There are 2 gray hairs up there.

New ones.

Six inches long.

I blame Steve.

A Masochist is Me

2009-07-08T14:07:00.004-04:00

I am a smart girl. I really am. I know I can be an airhead, I have a problem with short term memory loss a lot of the time, but all things considered, if I'm focused enough to stay on one subject, I am rather intelligent.

Today, you'd have never known it. I went to the gym to let the trainer at me again. Let me pause here to say, I look like I'm in absolutely terrible shape. I'm not. I'm in bad shape ..but not terrible. I've been doing some crunches, some arm stuff, and unloading trailers full of mulch with buckets (good exercise ... smelly, but good).

My trainer, bless her, was starting me light because she doesnt' want me to strain anything. Really, I could have done the ab stuff in my sleep and never noticed. That's how light. She was gradually pushing me further and further .. but really, I wasn't feeling it in the abs, and just feeling it mildly everywhere else. So .. back to today.

Today, she asks if my tummy has been sore.

Today, I said: "Nope, haven't felt a thing. What's up lady? Aren't you supposed to be hurting me?"

Yeah.

I want you to know, my gentle readers, after my workout today consisting of some treadmill, massive amounts of abs, arms, legs and chest work, I am typing this with the tip of my right pinky .. because that's the only thing -not- hurting.

She's out to get me now.

And I'm pretty sure she has a long memory.

and holy mackerel does that burn feel good.
I think I shall taunt her again tomorrow ;)

almost perfect timing

2009-07-02T23:02:00.001-04:00

heh, I just wrote about this a few days ago ... and now the truth comes out.

The line forms to the left ...

2009-07-01T07:22:00.007-04:00

Pookie is a wonderfully smart child. She learned to read at age 3, not just memorizing the stories, but actually reading. She was in a very good private school, very advanced, until we moved when she was in 2nd grade. She was here for the second semester of 2nd grade and her teacher decided she should be in gifted classes .. and she has been since. On their West Testing every year, she scores "Above Mastery" in all subjects across the board. She has a love of everything science related and for history as well.

This sounds suspiciously like I'm going to brag about how great my kid is all through this post, doesn't it? I assure you, I'm not. She is a smart girl, very smart. Too much for her own good sometimes. She reminds me of someone .. oh .. yes, it would be her mother that she reminds me of ;)

With one exception.

Sense. Of the common variety. She has none. Not. One. Lick.

I'm not saying I have loads of it. I know I flake out on a kinda regular basis, but .. still.

I'm not sure where she was when they called out, "The line for common sense forms to the left."

She was most likely off to the right, wandering aimlessly, chasing a butterfly, examining her toes, or some such.

I tell her to turn the lights off in the kitchen at night because, really, we don't need the house to be lit up like a Christmas tree 24 hours a day. Her response? "I can't. It gets too dark and I can't see to get back."

Seriously?

There are at least 592 other lights in the house. When the light is turned off in the kitchen, there is a neon clock that glows in there. There is the porch light that shines into the dining room, there is a nightlight in the living room, and if she leaves the light on in her room, it will light her path back. Or, she could even turn on her bedroom light, the living room light, the dining room light on her way to the kitchen and turn them all off in reverse on the way back.

Did she think of that? No.

Did she had a surprised look on her face like I was the smartest person on the planet when I told her all of that and she realized it was all true? Yes.

I tell her to put the hose away and close the garage. The hose reel sits just outside the garage door, the extension to the hose reel lays along the side of the garage and the door closes on top of it.

She comes to tell me the garage won't close. The hose extension is too fat. Because it's full of water. I tell her that perhaps if the water were somehow drained from the hose .....

She just stares at me. Clueless.

She doesn't finish the dishes or wipe the counters down in the kitchen, because there was no room in the dishwasher for all the dishes.

I tell her that if she unloads the dishwasher when it's done that there will be room then for the other dishes. That it is possible that said dishwasher -will- run a second time if there are enough spares to fill it again. It's not a rule that it can only run once or anything. It's also possible to wipe down the counters if she puts all the spare dishes in the sink while waiting for the dishwasher to be finished.

She had no clue.

My favorite this week? I gave her very specific instructions, as I always do, because I know my daughter. If I don't spell it out for her, letter by letter, she won't figure it out.

Instructions: Take this trash bag, empty the cat box. (This is easy, we have an automatic one .. all she has to do is take the receptacle out and put it in the bag). Put a new receptacle in the box .. where it belongs. Take the bag out to the car and put the little bag of trash that is in the back seat into the big bag you are holding. Tie up the big bag, put it with the other trash, in the can. In the garage. Then, get your camp stuff out of the car and bring it inside.

I then returned to work.

45 minutes later, I began to wonder what might have happened to my daughter. Had she gotten lost between the house and the garage? I thought she was safe enough. The garage is attached to the house .. the outside garage door was shut .. so she wouldn't be wandering aimlessly in the yard, chasing fireflies.

I went to see what she was doing.

I passed the litter box, which had not been emptied. I opened the door to the garage.

She was sitting in the back seat of the car.

With the empty trash bag.

Against my better judgment, I asked.

DC: What are you doing?

P: Um .. sitting here?

DC: Why?

P: I got sidetracked.

DC: Between the living room and the garage?

P: I guess.

DC: There are only 3 rooms between there and here.

P: Oh.

DC: You've been just sitting there for 45 minutes.

P: Really?

DC: *tries again, speaking slowly* What was so interesting that you got sidetracked?

P: I don't know.

*bangs head on wall*

Privacy. We has none.

2009-06-28T10:30:00.005-04:00

Nobody ever tells you beforehand that once you become a parent you will never see an entire movie again. You will be called away from it no less than 682 times to inspect a boo-boo, to wipe a butt, to save a sailboat from the monster in the toilet, to check under the bed and in the closet for monsters, or to have a rousing game of 200 questions (no that was not a typo).

They also never tell you that you lose all rights to even the most infinitesimal scrap of privacy. They always have horribly important questions when you're in the bathroom too, like "how do you make the water stop in the kitchen?" or "did you know the cat doesn't like mustard. At. All?" or "I drew a picture for you mommy, on the wall, ok?" and will burst in if you don't answer right away because you're taking the time to count backwards from 10 to keep from screaming that you just wanted 10 seconds of quiet and privacy.

I gave up on privacy a long time ago. My Pookie is 11 now. For the most part we are privacy free in this house. We don't keep (many) secrets and are rather open about pretty much everything. However, there is one room in the house that is supposed to be sanctuary, a place to gather your thoughts, to soak in a tub, to lock out the world .. Calgon take me away. Things don't always work out that way though.

Anytime I go into the bathroom, for whatever reason .. to shower, soak, to go, to clean ... if the door swings shut, my daughter is there by some kind of anti-quiet magic. Hovering.

That is the exact moment that she absolutely HAS to ask me a question, to tell me something that happened at school. Three days ago. Or to just generally chat. It matters not that we have been in the same house all day and she has not taken her nose out of her book for the last 6 hours to say anything to me. As soon as the door swings shut, some little alarm goes off in her head and she's there.

I think she is afraid there's some kind of vortex in there that will suck me in if she doesn't keep me talking the entire time ... because if I don't talk, what does she do? She comes in. I've tried to explain to her that it is not the portal to another dimension .. that I am perfectly capable of being in the bathroom alone without any horrible catastrophe taking place and that I will come out and more often than not, I will even be totally unscathed. I do it all the time, even when she's not here. She didn't look like she believed me.

I'm pretty sure she has recruited the animals now too. I rarely push the door all the way closed because really, what's the use? It's going to get opened 2 seconds later anyway, so I just swing it to and don't give that extra shove to make it latch. When she's not here and I wander into the bathroom, there is an insistent scratching on the door almost immediately. The scratching gets louder and more frantic, sometimes accompanied by this weird little chirpy noise. Eventually there is quiet for a second, then a thud.

One or both of the cats will fling themselves at the door until it opens and then come flying into the bathroom. They skid to a halt either by ramming their heads into the vanity or slamming into me, 'cause it's hard to stop on a linoleum floor, ya know. They give me that look like "Wow, you sure are lucky we got in when we did. Something terrible might have happened if we couldn't get the door open!" Then they sit and stare at me until I leave the room, obviously guarding me from the sucking bathroom vortex of doom that was seconds away from taking me.

Maybe if I shut the door as I leave it will take them.

wordless wednesday

2009-06-24T14:18:00.000-04:00

Dear SL

2009-06-23T09:34:00.003-04:00

It's your birthday today, the big 38! I just wanted to say happy birthday and send you a hug ... and remind you that you have exactly 1 month until my birthday .. yanno, just in case you forgot. :-) I bet you thought I'd miss it ... again. HA! I even remembered on your birthday this year! I know you're proud beyond belief.

I miss hanging with ya, yapping on the phone til all hours, going out clubbing and doing all that stuff that bestest buds do. Remember that time (ya know, all the different times) that I broke my toe and still went out dancing and you asked the DJ if he had a crooked song to play for your gimpy friend, 'cause I'd be dancin' crooked anyway? Teehee ... yeah, broke that sucker again this morning. I'm surprised it hasn't just fallen off yet. Maybe Dorky can come up with a gimpy song for me if I ever make it out to the club. You know, he's whining at me to come out .. again .. and my "It's Far" argument no longer works now that he's moved it. ;-) you'd have never let me get away with that either, I'd have had to barricade the door if I said it was too far and I was staying home.

Oh hey, I saw that baby of yours a little while back. She's growing up so fast, isn't she? I hadn't seen her in ages, but there's no way that I couldn't know who she belongs to. Such a beautiful girl .. looks just like her mama at that age .. back when we were the senior class. =) We had a great time, didn't we? I look back and wish to have those days back every once in a great while ... in moments of temporary insanity *grins* Can you imagine? The horror of having to live the teen years again .. actually .. I shudder at the thought LOL. I wouldn't want to do those years again . Once was plenty enough. Mostly, I just wish that a few of us hadn't scattered quite so far ... a very few. Maybe 2 or 3 of us. The rest can ... well. You get the picture.

Anyway, I just wanted to say happy birthday, m'dear .. and tell you I love you.
I wish I'd told you while you were still with us.
I hope you knew.

I miss you, girl, more and more as each year passes (has it really been 14 years already?) ... but I miss you especially today.

Rest in peace, my friend.
SK

Happy Thursday

2009-06-18T08:21:00.006-04:00

I know it's been a while since I've made a real posty ..but I'm just not feeling it lately. Pookie's been keeping me busy when I'm not busy working since school's been out and we had a ton of stuff to do right before that too with the field trips and pool parties and birthday parties and graduation and blah blah blah. She's on vacation with her best friend, the Flasher, at the moment. The Flasher's dad offered her a fully paid trip to Dollywood and Ripleys and all sorts of cool stuff. When they get back, they'll be home for a day and then off to camp for a week :-)

Besides all that, my grandfather was in the hospital (he's ok now though, we believe), I've been trying to design my sister's wedding program .. and she is SO not helpful. Her directions? "Here's a list of stuff ... you know what goes on a program"

er .. no, no I really don't. You'd think she would have better instructions, being a teacher and all that. But no.

I've been to 4 weddings in my life ... two of them were for my parents when they were remarried, I was too young to remember much, the third was in 1989 and the 4th was in 91. Yeah, I'm the wedding guru *rolls eyes* She'll be lucky if I don't just write a bunch of Post-Its that say "Welcome to the wedding, take lots of pictures" and slap them on people's foreheads as they come in.

So, anyway, back to work for me ... and more silly pictures for you!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-17T10:42:00.000-04:00

There's a Zombie on My Lawn!

2009-06-14T20:10:00.002-04:00

Sly Fox (or, Like Mother, Like Daughter)

2009-05-19T08:03:00.005-04:00

I was wandering through Lyndsay's place over at I Used To Be Witty, 'cause I always leave there with a smile. This post was about a conversation she had with her little princess, which just cracked me up. Her little princess is a bit like my little princess in that she's really smart, and a sly little fox. It made me remember many such conversations with my Pookie when she was little like that (and even now that she's older) .. so, I thought I'd share a few of them ;)

Age 2-1/2:
( I was pretending to be sleeping, she was bouncing all over my bed)

Pookie: Mommy? Get up mommy. You want bekfas? Mommmmmmmyyyyy time get up?

(mommy does some great fake snoring, but pookie doesn't buy it)

*bounce bounce, poke mommy in the eye*
(mommy rolls over, drags pookie with her and holds her down on the bed)

*squeals giggling, Mommymommymommymommy you hungy? Me hungy. *poke poke*

*quiet... too quiet*

*in a voice that said she was in total awe of whatever she was looking at* Oooooo, mommy! Look! A SPIDER.

... I won't go on, it was ugly. Did I mention I'm scared of spiders? Not just a little .. a LOT scared. Like .. pack up and move in the middle of the night because of spiders scared. Suffice it to say ... There was no spider.

She just knew that would get me outta bed with a quickness ... and I knew in that moment, looking at my baby, that little 2 year old who was grinning like a Chesire cat, that I was in for a heckuva ride with that kid. ;) I wouldnt' trade the ride for the world. It's fun having a Mini-Me.

Age 7, bedtime is 9, the negotiations start at 8:
Pookie: Can I stay up just a little late tonight?

Me: How late?

Pookie: I'll do the dishes if you let me.

Me: How late?

Pookie: Just a little .. I'll clean the bathroom.

Me: Until. What. Time?

Pookie: Well, you see, there's this thing on that I really really really want to watch. I've been waiting for days now. It comes on at 9.

Me: HOW. LATE?

Pookie: I'll get up early and do the dishes, and I won't be grouchy or too tired for school and only until 11.

Me: No.

Pookie: How about 10:30?

Me: How about no?

Pookie: Can I just stay up until 10? Please please please please please?

Me: The movie is on until 11, but you only want to watch half of it? That's kinda borderline idiotic, isn't it? No. You'll go to bed at 9.

Pookie: But mommmm .. I really really want to see this one part, can I just stay up until 9:30?

Me: How do you know that the one part will be on by 9:30?

Pookie: Well, if it isn't, then I could just wait a few more minutes....

Age 8

Her Pookieness was on the phone with the sperm donor's mother. I'd already talked to grandma and she said she wasn't going to make it over to pick the Pookie up because she was tired and really wasn't feeling well. She'd been out of town for 2 days and had gotten home late. So, I knew the gist of her end of the conversation, even though I could only hear Pookie's. Here's what I heard:

Pookie: Oh. Well that's okay grandma. *pauses, then .. using a very familiar kind of tone .. understanding, but just the slightest tinge of sad disappointment* I just really wanted to come over this weekend because the outdoor theater just has this one show left this summer. But that's okay grandma. Maybe we can go next summer.

Grandma: -totally caved-

So, she gets off the phone with grandma with a a smirk of smug satisfaction ... until she saw the look on my face.

Pookie: uh .. she's sending Unk to pick me up.

Me: POOKIE! You do NOT manipulate people like that.

Pookie: *trying her darnedest to look innocent* I wasn't mom! I was just telling grandma why I wanted to come this weekend. I said it was okay that she didn't want to come!

Me: And you knew she'd cave if you told her you "just really wanted to come" because she spoils you rotten.

Pookie: Um .. no I didn't?

Me: When you tell grandma it's alright that she's not coming, but then you say something else that you know will make her do what you want her to do ... THAT is being manipulative. You DO NOT manipulate people. It's not nice.

Pookie: *thinks about that for a minute, then looks me straight in the eye and says* Well, you do it.

... I blinked a couple times and realized where that familiar tone came from all of a sudden. Then, when I stopped laughing ..

Me: Yeah .. well. I'm an adult .. and I don't do it to family. Much. I better never hear you doing that to my side of the family. Do you understand? Nana will never buy it, she raised me .. she knows all your tricks. But if I catch you doing it to grandma & grandpa, you're toast.

Pookie: Ok mom. I did really just want to go this weekend to the outdoor theater though. We've only gotten to go once this summer.

Me: Save it kid, that crap doesn't work on me.

Evil Underwires

2009-05-15T08:11:00.006-04:00

Ya know how nothing ever feels quite as good as a bra that fits just right? Well .. ok, so the male-types may not know ... or, they may know. Ya know I will never understand why some men want to wear bras. If I had man-boobies and didn't have to wear a bra, I sure wouldn't!

Anyway! I happened to have on a bra last night that was not terribly comfortable, because it wsa the only one I could find in time to leave the house. It has underwires .. and while most of my underwires are fairly comfy and uplifting and stuff, this one likes to poke me with the underwires. They have a mind of their own, ya know. They flip upside down and poke ya in the side, or in the arm, and it's just really really uncomfortable.

So, we had to go to Pookie's swim lesson, where I fought inconspicuously with this bra the whole time. The observation deck at the pool is rather warm and cozy ... if you enjoy sitting on the surface of the sun. It must be 985 degrees in there. There's a skylight, which traps all the summer sun heat, as well as heat lamps that are kept on. So, needless to say, I was sweating like some kind of farm animal, praying that some smart aleck kid would cannonball into the pool and manage to hit all of us parents with a nice splash. But, alas, that didn't happen and I stayed there, sweating quietly while I fought my undergarments.

Pookie then decided that last night was the night we would go out for Mother's Day. She wanted to take me out to dinner, but something had kept getting in the way all week, so instead of getting out of that blasted sadistic wired straight jacket, I gritted my teeth and bore it a little while longer, and we went out to dinner.

I made it until we were pulling out of the parking lot and finally just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled the evil bra off and tossed it in Pookie's lap and told her to hold it for me. She was giggling and doing the "Mo-Ther" thing .. but I could finally breathe again!

A couple minutes later, she says "Oooo this is warm"

I looked

yup .. knee warmers.

thats 3 ... THREE bloggy awards, ha ha ha

2009-05-07T08:16:00.003-04:00

Midlife Mama graced me with this loverly award the other day and I totally forgot to post it, 'cause i didn't have time right then .. and, well, I have trouble remembering my own name on a daily basis. In other words, I suck!! It would probably help if I kept better track of my blog, huh?

Thanks so much for the award, Mama :))

So, with awards come rules .. and with rules come lots of grumbling and stuff lol ..

Here are the rules:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I've been too busy and not on the computer enough to really have any new discoveries, except for Midlife Mama, who discovered me first ... so I'mma ignore the rules (imagine that).

If any of you that I follow would like this award, feel free to snatch it. I love all your blogs, or I wouldn't read them :)

Random Wednesday stuff

2009-05-06T18:07:00.004-04:00

I make donations to the Arbor Day Foundation when I can, because I'm all for helping the planet heal itself. So, sometime during the winter I made my donation and actually made the decision to accept the trees they send as a thank you. Ten trees and a crepe myrtle. They came today! They're cute little twigs ... all 11 came in a bag together. I was thinking of building a little hut out of them. A tiny hut. Like, for a bug or something, teehee.

In other news, my daughter had decided to change the cat's name, yet again. This time, she's changed it to Ryuuutarunga Argakongatangaflurgle. The cat seems to like it, which is just proof positive that she's brain dead, as I suspected from the beginning.

Pookie also had her first swimming lesson yesterday. I went to the indoor track to walk while she was down there, since it's right next door, and walked until I was sweating like some kind of farm animal. There was still about 15 minutes left of her swim lesson, so I drug myself next door to the observation deck at the pool, thinking I could cool down a bit before we left. Yeah, right. It was 973 degrees in there. The entire place was like a sauna. The water must have been boiling or something. I was panting like an obscene phone call by the time I got out of there. In hindsight, it was probably not the best idea to stay there while I waited, seeing that I have a pretty horrid heat intolerance, but .. eh. whatever. The parents came pouring out of there when the lessons were over and all of us looked like we'd been out in the sun for about a week .. sweat pouring off of us and beet red. So, yeah .. from now on the kid is on her own. I'm going to the lobby to read while I wait for her. ;)

Is your refrigerator running?

2009-04-25T08:18:00.004-04:00

This is my whiteboard

This is where I keep lists of things I need to remember, and write Pookie's chore list for the day, so that she can do one thing at a time and then wipe it off as she gets finished. It hangs on the wall in front of my bed and beside my desk, so that I see it first thing in the morning and all day while I'm working.

This is my whiteboard on drugs.

Pookie likes to write the list on the board, and she acts like a little nutjob while she does it .. writing fast, writing slow, writing crazy abbreviations that neither of us will remember (I can't imagine where she gets that from) ... and this was her latest way of writing chores --

If ya click it to make it bigger, you can get the full effect. It took her longer to write the chores than it did to do them .. but she had fun lol.

1. Check house for stray dishes, put in dishwasher.

2. Sweep kitchen.

3. Get comforter out of dryer.

4. Get sheet out of washer, put in dryer (not sure why she was using 2 "t's" in put, but she thought it was hysterical. I asked her if she needed a golf club to put them in there, and she dissolved into giggles).

5. Put bathroom rugs and kitchen rugs in washer with detergent.

and the pitchfork thing at the bottom, with the fido box -- that was because she'd be hungry as a dog by the time she was done.

and apparently .. all the appliances were running

*grins*

Tagged meme

2009-04-23T08:01:00.003-04:00

So, I got tagged with this Tagged 8 meme thing from Paula, which I'm going to assume was a hint that I should post something *grins* So, here goes ;)

Eight Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. Vacation time in July.
2. School being out so Mini Me and I can enjoy the summer.
3. Getting my new (to me) laptop, which my loverly iggy decided to give me.
4. My sister's wedding in August. Not real thrilled about wearing a dress. A yellow dress. But, still thrilled for her :)
5. Getting my flower garden finished so it can bloom and bloom and bloom :)
6. The release of GRR Martin's new book.
7. The release of KE Mills new book.
8. The new Harry Potter movie!

Eight things I did yesterday:
1. Worked.
2. Teased Pookie about the car door "falling on her leg."
3. Cooked dinner with the munchkin.
4. Watched Bones.
5. Exercised.
6. Read Turning Paige and caught up with her.
7. Flipped the mattress.
8. Took out the trash.

Eight things I wish I could do:
1. Win the lottery so I could ..
2. Pay off all my family's mortgages, and
3. Send the baby sister and the munchkin to college, and
4. Supply new cars for everyone and
5. Take Pookie on a cruise, 'cause she's dying to do that, and
6. Buy my mother's store to give her the pleasure of watching it bulldozed to the ground, and
7. Be able to help out Pervy with his business more because ..
8. I wouldn't have to do transcription anymore if I won the lottery!

Eight TV shows I watch:
1. House.
2. Will & Grace.
3. Charmed.
4. Bones.
5. Law & Order.
6. NCIS.
7. How I Met Your Mother.
8. House of Payne.

Eight people I tag:
Ok, well, I'm not tagging people because, frankly, I don't have time to do it lol.

If y'all read and wanna do this, that would be cool! If not, I totally understand ... I just needed a break from work, so I did it (yanno, that and Paula made me) *grins*

Yep

2009-04-21T09:41:00.003-04:00

I'm still alive. I should be back soon :)

In the meantime ...

Friday Funnies

2009-04-11T01:04:00.003-04:00

first post of the day

2009-04-04T09:29:00.004-04:00

it's a mere 9 hours before my house is taken over by the munchkin brigade ... an infiltration that will not end until some unknown time tomorrow.

Actually, I'm not sure I can call them munchkins anymore, they're getting rather tall, and loud .. .and they eat way more than munchkins. anyway, I don't actually have time to post, I'm just gonna leave a picture of the cake.

Which I did make myself.

this morning.

before work.

Which was a real pain in the butt.

but, it's cute :)

Friday Funnies

2009-03-27T19:23:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-11T11:39:00.003-04:00

Things I've Learned .. and excuses for yesterday

2009-03-10T08:32:00.003-04:00

So, yeah, I know I missed yesterday .. zombie day. Why did I miss it, you ask? Well, because I -was- a zombie yesterday, and zombie's don't type. They can't, 'cause of the body parts all randomly falling off and stuff. *nods solemnly* that's my story and i'm stickin to it.

I was on the go from the time I got up yesterday until I passed out last night. I had to run out to the court house to get my registration all paid for and the property tax on the car. So, my registration is done. On time. Before on time. For the -first- time in .. well, ever. I have never ever gotten that registration done before it was expired and I'd been pulled over for it at least once. So I'm all proud of myself and stuff. Thanks to everyone that nagged, irritated, texted, IM'd and called me repeatedly to remind me to go do it lol. After that, I had to run down to the YMCA (does anyone else just break into song when they read that?) so we could get the membership going ... you get a workout just from going IN to the Y 'cause of the long long flight of stairs, up the hill, from the parking lot to the door. From there it was off to buy lettuce, 'cause ya know that's all I eat anymore (well, except for last week when I was full of the badness), then home to work on some graphics for a webpage I'm making for a friend's business ... a chocolate business .. oh the irony. Then, back to the Y with the kiddo, where I went up and down 5 flights of stairs about a million times (or ..4 times), plus the outside stairs, and did about 15 laps on the track (really. 15), then home where I had to cook dinner. And .. add to this that I was already sore from lugging around tons of dirt, and helping the munchkin chase packing peanuts all over the yard while the wind was blowing.

Yes, packing peanuts. No, don't ask.

So anyway .. that's why I didn't post yesterday. I got done with everything and passed out. My leg muscles are just screaming at me .. and it's very distracting .. they're loud.

So, on with today's things I've learned.

1. Four trips up and down a million stairs with a knee that is still not completely healed ... not the smartest thing I've ever done.

2. Seeing my little water baby all happy 'cause she gets to go to the pool every day ... totally worth the pain.

3. When you plan to pour packing peanuts into a bathtub that happens to be outside, make sure the wind isn't blowing.

4. Placing a box over one end of the tub does not keep the peanuts from blowing out.

5. It just creates a wind tunnel.

6. When packing peanuts blow all over the yard, it looks kind of like snow. Very unruly snow.

7. Catching and picking up said peanuts is a real pain.

8. Pouring dirt on top of peanuts is not really terribly easy. The dirt tends to sink below the peanuts, which sends them flying all over the yard. Again.

9. When I ask Pookie, after she's wandered aimlessly all over the house looking for her glasses, if they might happen to be in the case and she answers with "What case?" it kinda gives me a headache.

10. Pookie still, after all these years living with me, has the nerve to look shocked, after I've asked the exact same question 35 times in 3 different languages, when I finally get ticked off and yell it.

11. Pookie may not make it to her 11th birthday.

12. Even if it is only a couple weeks away.

13. Cops should be banned from the courthouse once a year, on the day I go to get my registration done.

14. They're distracting.

15. Working on a chocolatey website for a friend when one is not allowed to eat chocolate ... not fun.

16. Having said "Friend" ask me to hang out with them at the expo, surrounded by chocolate ... well that's just rude and wrong on about 75 different levels.

17. I have sadistic friends.

The Kitchen of Good and Evil

2009-03-07T10:08:00.003-05:00

The Good

Barley Vegetable Casserole
Makes 4 servings -- 2 pts/serving (and is very nummy)

Ingredients:

2/3 cup barley
1 cup onion, chopped
1 cup cauliflower florets, chopped into 1/4 inch pieces
1 cup mushrooms, chopped
1 cup carrots, finely shredded
2-1/2 cups vegetable stock
1/4 tsp. garlic powder

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350°F. Place barley and a small amount of water or stock in a heavy nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook 2-3 minutes, stirring frequently, until lightly browned. Transfer to a casserole dish that has been lightly coated with cooking spray. Sauté onions 5 minutes in same skillet, stirring frequently. Combine onions with remaining vegetables and add to casserole. Combine remaining ingredients in a bowl. Mix well and stir into casserole. Season with salt and pepper to taste and mix well. Cover and bake 1-1/4 hours, until barley is tender and most of the liquid has been absorbed. Stir several times while baking. Let stand 5 minutes, mix and serve.

The Evil

Sticky Toffee Pudding with Pecan Toffee Sauce

Ingredients

Puddings

3 ounces butter, softened
5 ounces soft brown sugar
2 eggs, beaten
6 ounces self-raising flour
6 ounces stoned dates, chopped
6 fluid ounces boiling water
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
2 tablespoons instant coffee granules, hot water added to make about 1/3 cup or 1/3 cup strong fresh coffee
3/4 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

Sauce

8 ounces soft brown sugar
6 ounces butter
12 tablespoons double cream - heavy
2 ounces pecan nuts, roughly chopped

Directions

1. Heat the oven to 180C/360°F Lightly butter 8 x 3" ramekin dishes. I like to spray them to coat them evenly.

2. Soak the dates in the boiling water for about half an hour to soften them. Add the bicarbonate of soda, vanilla essence and coffee mixture, mix well and allow to soak for 30 minutes more.

3. In a separate bowl, beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, then add the beaten eggs, a little at a time, and beat well after each addition. Fold in the sifted flour, again a little at a time, gently mixing through after each addition.

4. Then add the date mixture. You should have a fairly sloppy mixture, it looks all wrong - but it is ALL right, I promise you! Divide the mixture equally between the ramekins, place them on a baking tray and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until well risen.

5. Cool for 5 minutes, then loosen them around the sides with a butter knife and turn out. The puddings can be cooled and frozen at this stage. After freezing, defrost, pour the hot sauce over and re-heat to serve as instructed below.

6. To serve:- Place the puddings in a shallow ovenproof dish. Heat the grill. Make the sauce by melting the butter, cream, pecans and sugar together in a pan, and stir well.When just boiling, pour HALF of the sauce over the puddings; and then continue to heat the sauce on a rolling boil until it has thickened.

7. Place the puddings 5" below the grill and cook for about 8 minutes, making sure that the nuts and sauce does not burn too badly; you should have toasted nuts in places, with a sticky toffee glaze which is almost crunchy.

8. Serve with the extra toffee sauce in a heatproof jug, chilled cream, custard, ice-cream, or just NAKED!

Friday Funnies

2009-03-06T07:51:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-04T08:05:00.001-05:00

We interrupted your regularly scheduled zombieness to bring you this breaking news story

2009-03-02T00:00:00.003-05:00

I was sitting at my desk a while back, working. The house was quiet but for the sounds of my own fingers tapping on the keys, or, rather, rattling off like machine gun fire, to hear my friends tell it. Anyway, I was sitting there, alone in the house, my back to the door, lost my my own little world while I worked.

All of a sudden, I felt this odd sensation ... ya know how the hair on the back of your neck just all stands up at once and you get this full body shiver? Yeah, just like that. There was someone or something just boring a hole into the back of my neck.

My first thought, of course, was that it was a flesh-eating zombie (ha ha, got the zombies in here for Zombie Monday after all). I was properly horrifed by the thought of having a zombie standing there behind me. Ok, so actually I was kinda excited, but ya know, more horrified.

I stiffened and held my breath. All the normal house sounds seemed to just go silent all at once. My hands were poised over the keyboard, frozen mid key-stroke. Because, obviously, that's what you do when zombies are around, right? duh.

Then I heard it.

*squeaky.........squeaky*

I turned slightly to look behind me.

*squeaky...squeaky...squeaky*

I spunt the chair all the way around to face my stalker head on!

*squeakysqueakysqueakysqueaky*

That's right ... I'm being stalked by a squeaky toy.

A squeaky toy and a little black dog.

My little squeaky stalker.

She used to sit out in the living room and squeak at me until I came to throw the toy. She just wants me to throw it once, then she's done. Usually.

I quit coming to see what all the racket was out in the living room, so now she comes to the bedroom, sits patiently behind me, and ... *squeaky squeaky*

The longer I ignore her, the louder and closer together the squeakies come. She stalks me all over the house with this thing. Just out of nowhere, she's suddenly behind me *squeaky squeaky*

If i ignore her, she follows me around the house. *squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky*

There's even a puppy dance that goes with it. Imagine the Snoopy dance of joy, to a squeaky soundtrack.

I find myself marching to the beat of the squeakness. It's really irritating, adorable, and ridiculous all at the same time. lol

Yep, my little squeaky stalker, she's so cute I wanna strangle her. :)

Diet Bloggy (or, Is my nose twitching like a bunny yet?)

2009-03-01T09:31:00.000-05:00

Weight Loss since 02/21/09:
8 pounds.

Total weight loss so far:
15 pounds - almost to my 20 pound loss goal already, and I still have a month to go!

So, new goal .. 20 more by end of March.

Exercise Regimen:
Sorely lacking .. LOL

I managed to screw up my exercise regimen last week 'cause I was crampy and cranky. However, I'm getting back on track, so last weeks goals become this week's goals, sort of.

I'm up to 100 wall pushup thingies a day (or push outs ... push againsts?) Will be at 200 by end of week, providing that my arms do not fall out of their sockets.

I'm holding at 90 crunches a day. Will be working towards that 200 mark by end of week.

I haven't been able to do the Tai Chi because of the stupid knee injury, so will be doing 20 minutes of stretching a day instead.

My lovely grandmother has decided she is going to pay for a YMCA membership for me and Mini-Me, so we'll be going there about 3-5 days a week. She wants to swim ... I will not be getting into the pool until I'm less whale-shaped. I'll settle for the fitness room ...and the treadmill. Yay! Treadmill, here I come! and Kickboxing ... and martial arts ... and .. and ..

I have been on a steady diet of rabbit food, tuna and Special K. Yummy.

Breakfast - 1 cup Special K, 1/2 cup skim milk.

Lunch - tuna salad and lettuce, stuffed in a wheat pita.

Dinner - Varies ... but is always mostly salad with maybe a little taste of chicken.

Snack - Special K Bars .... omg they have good flavors. My favorite is the chocolate raspberry, nummy!

So, here we go ... week 3, here I come!

The Kitchen of Good and Evil

2009-02-28T08:57:00.002-05:00

The Good --

This is one of my favorite recipes. I LOVE bean soup :p It is only 1 point per cup. One little point! :) We usually throw a little bit of pickle relish in it for a garnish. I know, weird, but it's good.

Vegetarian Bean Soup

Ingredients:
20 oz. mixture of various dry beans*
1 chopped celery stalk
Water
1 clove garlic or 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1 potato peeled and cut into chunks
Salt (optional)
1 medium chopped onion
Pepper (optional)
1 carrot diced

Instructions:
Rinse beans and remove any debris. Put beans into a large pot and cover beans with 2 inches of water. Bring beans and water to a boil. Remove beans from heat and let stand for 1 hour. You may discard soaking water with fresh water. After 1 hour, add potato, onion, celery, carrot, and garlic. Add additional water, if necessary. Reheat bean mixture, stirring occasionally. Add more water if desired. Garnish with non-fat sour cream and chives. Serves approx. 12 (1 cup) depending on how much water is added.

*Use a combination of beans such as 15 bean soup mix (discard seasoning packet), kidney, Northern, pinto, split peas, lentils, navy, cranberry, black, lima).

Yield: 12 servings (1 cup)
1 POINTS per serving

The Evil --

Sex In A Pan

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes

Ingredients:

1 cup flour
1/2 cup butter or margarine
3/4 cup chopped pecans
1 (8oz) package cream cheese, softened
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 tub whipped topping, 32 ounces
1 package (4oz) vanilla instant pudding
1 package (4oz) chocolate instant pudding
3 cups cold milk, divided
1 square semisweet chocolate, shaved, or mini semisweet chocolate chips

Preparation: Combine flour, butter and pecans and press into a 9x13x2-inch baking pan. Bake at 350° for 25 minutes. Cool in pan on rack.

Combine cream cheese and confectioners' sugar and spread over pecan mixture. Spread half of the whipped topping over the cream cheese layer.

Mix package of vanilla pudding using 1-1/2 cups of milk. Spoon evenly over the whipped topping; spread until layer is even. Mix package of chocolate pudding using remaining 1-1/2 cups milk. Spread on top of vanilla pudding. Spread remaining whipped topping on top and sprinkle with shaved semisweet chocolate or mini chocolate chips.

Dear Pookie

2009-02-26T08:04:00.004-05:00

Dear Pookie,

Do you remember when the alarm went off at 6:45 this morning and you came lurching into my bedroom to say good morning, or rather, what sounded like, "gahmorninmomugh?" Do you also remember that when you came in, I gave you your morning hug, told you I loved you, and reminded you that if you were going home with Mouth after school that you needed to get your clothes together?

No?

Well, maybe you remember 20 minutes later when you were wandering aimlessly through the house, yapping to Mouth, who was also wandering aimlessly, both of you still half dressed, hair all jacked up because it hadn't even seen a brush yet, and I reminded you again that you were, in fact, supposed to be getting ready for school and that you needed to get your clothes together if you wanted to go home with her after school today.

No? Still not ringing any bells?

How about at 7:40 this morning, when I said in dulcimer tones, "GET YOUR BEHIND OFF THE BED, GET DRESSED, BRUSH YOUR TEETH, BRUSH YOUR HAIR AND IF YOU'RE GOING HOME WITH MOUTH AFTER SCHOOL, GET YOUR CLOTHES TOGETHER!!!" ??

Ahh, you remember that one?

Then why, my darling daughter, why is it that 10 minutes later, when there were a mere 3 minutes left before the bus came and I came to remind you that shoes would be a good idea in 40 degree weather, it being winter and all, and asked where your bag was to take to Mouth's house, you said, "Oh, I forgot to get my clothes together." You do realize you are driving your mother to drink, right?

By the way, Pookie, I love you more than life itself. You are the center of my universe, my miracle baby, my everything, but did you really think you were going to get away with that display this morning? Did you really think that just because you had company I would not go all ninja on your little behind when you threw your little tantrum? Do you really think I care that Mouth was watching? Surprise!

Yes, I love you, but you will NOT act like that without repercussions. I. Dare. You. to ever stomp through the house and start throwing stuff again to show me you're unhappy when I say something like, "I've reminded you 3 times to get your clothes. If you don't have them ready, you are not going because I am not bringing them to you after school."

Consider that a challenge if you like, my lovely. I will always win. Know why? Because I'm the alpha in this family and you still have much to learn, little grasshopper.

All my love,
Mama-San

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-25T08:54:00.001-05:00

Things I've Learned

2009-02-24T09:56:00.003-05:00

1. It takes 736 hours to cook a 3 pound chicken, by Nyxie's calculations.

2. Nyxie stinks at math.

3. Running on 4 hours of sleep a night is not wonderful. My body is exhausted, but my brain won't shut down. (No comments from the peanut gallery about the functionality of my brain).

4. Knowing someone is young and seeing that someone is young are two entirely different things.

5. Tynny has a sweet babyface :-)

6. There is such a thing as TOO MUCH WATER.

7. I drink 8 glasses of water and 1 glass of Diet Coke a day.

8. This equals 17 trips to the bathroom per hour.

9. I should probably just move the computer in there, since I spend the majority of my day there.

10. Winter is never going to end. Ever.

11. When I do remember that I need to go get my inspection sticker, and have 3 people call to tell me to go get it, so i won't forget, Winter dumps a ton of snow and ice on us, so I can't go. yay.

Zombie Monday ...

2009-02-23T10:49:00.003-05:00

Yes, it's zombie Monday again already, and how appropriate that it is, because I'm definitely feeling the zombiness. I've tried every way I can think of to drug myself into sleeping for more than 4 hours. I took some lovely little pills last night that normally knock me out for a good 16 hours.

Four hours later, I woke up. I feel like I've been hit by a semi. Twice. But, I'm awake!

Yay?

So, anyway, I'm not gonna ramble on and on every Monday about zombies, but I am going to post a couple little zombie-related things that I find each week, 'cause why not? :)

I love reading about where different myths and folklore came from, and what present-day types of things they have affected. Not that zombies are myths or anything. I'm thinking the fact that I'm upright and moving around today would probably convince the world of the existence of zombies. I am the very commonly found "Mombie." teehee

Anyway, back to the zombies, HERE you'll find some pretty neat stuff about the origins of zombies in Haiti, which I think is pretty cool.

And here is one of my favorite Cranberry songs, titled ...... *drum roll*

yep, you guessed it

Zombie

Diet Bloggy Day (or, no, I don't want that donut, I'll just be over here torturing the cat)

2009-02-22T11:44:00.001-05:00

The theme for Sundays has been changed, without notice, 'cause it's kinda my blog and I can do that :-)

Nyxie and I have decided to do the diet/exercise thing together, 'cause we both do better when we have a partner in torture ... er, someone to be accountable to. So, Sundays will be for a progress blog. If any of you would like to join in and do a diet/exercise/fitness post on Sundays with us, please feel free. If you let me know, I'll make a whole little Diet Bloggy sidebar link so we can cheer for each other, 'cause who wouldn't like their own personal cheering section? Plus, it's a great way to get new ideas!

I'm so not posting my starting weight, but I will post how much I've lost each week, and what my schedule is like. For now, because I just started a week ago and am so pathetically out of shape it's laughable ... I've started slow with just doing crunches throughout the day and counting calories for the last week.

I need to up my exercise every week until I have enough activity going on throughout the day to keep me on an even keel now that my chemistry is all back to normal without the nicotine, but with the horrid out-of-shapedness I have going on, I have to start out like this --

Calorie count -
Hovering around 1000/day, give or take 100.

Coming week's exercise schedule -
20 minute Tai Chi
30 wall pushups
130 crunches (up by 10 each day to 200 by end of week) throughout the day.

My short term goal is to lose 20 pounds by the last day of March.

My long-term exercise plan goal will look something like this:

Aerobics - 90 minutes at least 4 days a week.
Walking - 10 miles 5 days a week.
Tai Chi - At least 20 minutes every day, and 1 hour at least 2 days a week.

For anyone that has not tried Tai Chi, not only is it great for working every single muscle group, it is an absolutely wonderful de-stresser. I like to do it first thing in the morning for the wake-up stretch and last thing at night before bed.

Pounds lost from February 15: 7.2 pounds

The Kitchen of Good and Evil (Recipe Day)

2009-02-21T12:02:00.003-05:00

I decided I'd do a nice, healthy recipe, and a bad, bad, evil, high calorie recipe each week, 'cause I'm on a diet ... and a masochist, apparently. LOL

So, here goes.

The Good --

Garden Vegetable Soup

2/3 cup sliced carrots
1/2 cup diced onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 cups fat-free broth
1-1/2 cups diced green or red cabbage
1/2 cup green beans
1 Tbsp tomato paste
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup peas

mix ingredients, bring to boil, serve hot, makes 4 servings. Easy, huh? :)

If you do Weight Watchers, this is 0 points per serving.

The Evil

Peanut Butter Pies

1 (8-oz) softened cream cheese
1 cup peanut butter
2 cups confectioners' sugar
2 (8-oz) bowls Cool Whip
2 graham cracker or Oreo crusts (I use the oreo ones)

Mix first 3 ingredients of filling in order with a fork.
Next, mix in Cool Whip with mixer on high.
Pour into pie shells.

Refrigerate. Top with peanuts & Cool Whip.

Enjoy!!

Friday Funnies

2009-02-20T09:35:00.003-05:00

Dear Lane 15 ...

2009-02-19T13:21:00.004-05:00

Dear fellow Walmart customers in Lane 15:

To the gentleman standing behind me, I'm sorry if I scared you when I snapped at my rather cute and hyper daughter, "Go ahead, ask me for one more thing. I. Dare. You." You jumped a little, and you are kinda scary looking, and ...well, I wouldn't want to startle you in case you're packing heat. I'd hate to be the cause of you whipping out an uzi and mowing down half of Walmart, myself included.

To the 12-year-old running the register: First let me say thank you for being so friendly to everyone in line; however, I am not really interested in your back problems, your lack of hours, your inability or unwillingness to stay after your shift, how cold/hot you are, what kind of car you drive/want, how many times you've come in on your day off, or that today is a bad hair day.

I have no clue why you would have back problems .. you're only 12. Seriously.

Oh, also, before I forget, if you call me sweetie, honey, baby, or sweetiepie one more time, I may deck you, right here front of God and all my fellow captive lane-mates of Lane 15, where we spent a good chunk of our evening, due to the fact that you were the only lane open on this side of the store.

I'm sure you're just trying to be friendly, but honestly, I don't need some 12 year old calling me sweetie in a condescending tone. Wait until you're my age, then you can do it to children your age. Sweetiepie.

I just want to pay for my pita bread and go home, babydoll. You see, I've had a long day too. I've been up since 2:30 this morning because I fell asleep at 10:30 last night, and I can only sleep 4 hours a night now that the nicotine is gone from my system and my hyperactivity is rearing its ugly head again. I have also had my recommended 8 glasses of water today, and have made a total of 976 trips to the bathroom already, and if you don't shut up and check us all out, you're going to have to call for a cleanup on Lane 15, 'cause I'm due for trip 977. I'm not just dancing because I'm happy, sweetheart. Why would I share this with you, you might ask. Well, so you'll know why, when I reach out and flat-palm you right between the eyes. Honey.

I would watch out for the 6 people behind me, who are going to have to make the 10 mile jaunt to the other side of this superstore when you clock out, since you're the only lane open on this side and you've announced that you're clocking out in exactly 30 seconds. I hope you have mace, the guy behind me looks like a serial killer ... and I already spooked him when I snapped at my daughter.

Much love,
Customer #12 of Lane 15.

"Watch" Dog for Wordless Wednesday (click it to enlarge)

2009-02-18T03:22:00.003-05:00

Things I've Learned and some other stuffs

2009-02-17T08:37:00.007-05:00

For those of you that loved the chocky brains from yesterday's zombie post, they are made by G&C Chocolates. They also have 1-pound chocolate (human) hearts and chocolate feet, for the chocoholic cannibal, I'm guessing. *grins* ...It says if you accumulate $500 in chocolate that you get a pass to the VIP section of the website. I'm not sure I would ever want $500 in chocolate, or that I want to be in the VIP section of that website, it's all very mysterious. It's probably a chocolate cult or something!

Anyway, today is Things I've learned day. I actually have themes for several days of the week, I don't think I've ever done them all in one week though, so I'm going to attempt it now, for the first time ever, without a net! erm .. uh .. yeah, we'll run with that.

1. I've learned that my daughter is as big a zombie freak as I am, now that I've let my zombie freakiness come to light. We snuggled and watched Resident Evil 3 last night, and she totally stole my "nom nom nom, braaaaiiinnnsss" line.

2. I've learned I'm not so much a "Dog Whisperer" as a "Dog .. Screamer," but I get my point across ... and, hey, exercising the lungs. That's good, right?

3. I quit smoking in mid-December .. and I'm still smoke free. I've learned that breathing is actually kinda cool .. and I can sing again, which is why the exercising the lungs thing is good. Right??

4. I can actually go for a week without seriously injuring myself. Ha Ha Nyxie, you said I couldn't do it!! *smack smack*

5. In the phrase, "Fine, busy." I can read a LOT into the space between the comma and the next word.

6. It shocks the person that typed it in the first place.

7. It was a big space....and it was the comma's fault. Comma boy should have used a different one.

8. Paula and Brian and I laugh a lot together.

9. Until my sides ache and my tummy hurts.

10. When one has laughed so hard that she can no longer breathe and is wheezing, and one goes for her inhaler, which she has not had a reason to use in four months ... and finds that the lid has popped off the inhaler so it is now full of dust .... one should try to rinse the dust out before inhaling.

11. Inhaling dust while wheezing from laughing so hard your sides hurt could be detrimental to one's health.

12. I almost died and it was all comma-boy's fault!

13. I am capable of getting my grocery list to the store with me.

14. I still won't use it, but I'm capable of getting it there!

15. I hate looking for a new job.

16. Nicotine has the opposite effect on me that it does on most. This is not somthing I've -just- learned ... but it is something I've -just- remembered.

17. Once the nicotine has all gotten out of my system, I only sleep for about 4.5 hours a night and I'm bouncing off the walls for a lot of the day.

18. Calling a friend and rattling off in his ear for 15 minutes without even taking a breath makes him stutter and you can just hear his jaw drop as he says, "I, uh, er ... I don't even know what to say to you right now. What are you ON?!"

19. Laying in bed for 2 hours muttering that you should NOT be awake at 5 in the morning doesn't do a lot of good.

20. Well it does a little good, I didn't call and wake Brian up at 5 in the morning, after all.

21. About the time that I fall back to sleep just out of sheer boredom because I have been actively fighting my body to keep it in bed, Her Pookieness will come into the room and say "Mom, I just missed the bus, can you give me a ride to school?"

22. She will leave out the "because I was putzing around with this envelope so that I can get a free Littlest Pet Shop pet and wasn't watching for the bus." part that belonged right before the second the comma.

23. It is 19 *($#)# degrees out there!!!!

Zombies Ahead .... Run for your lives!!!

2009-02-16T09:10:00.004-05:00

Have any of you seen the warnings in the news of the imminent zombie takeover? You haven't?? Well, let me tell you about it. There are some poor little hackers out there in the world who are being persecuted for trying to do us a public service. They've hacked into various construction road signs, trying their best to warn us of the zombie infestation in Austin and what we should do to avoid them feasting on our brains. Personally, I think they should leave the hackers alone and let them do their jobs. I mean, really! I would want to know if there were zombies ahead when I'm out driving to the mall. Wouldn't you want to be warned before you saw the decomposing bodies of flesh-eating, brain-devouring zombies lurching towards you?

If we get zombie warnings here, y'all can persecute the hackers. I'll send you a postcard from Alaska. Not that you'll be able to read it or anything, 'cause by then you'll be zombies too. *le sigh* I'll miss you.

In an attempt to help you non-believers out, when you are all locked up in your houses because you didn't heed the warnings, go here for instructions on what to do.

.

By the way, I need this. I need it desperately.

What is it, you ask?
.

Why, it's a chocolate covered cherry.
.

In brain form.
.

mmmmm nom nom nom chocky brains!! Great for the chocoholic zombie. :-)
.

In other zombie news .. There's a new book coming out April 15 that I must have. Must. Have. It. Pride and Prejudice, and Zombies. Seriously. Seth Grahame-Smith has given Elizabeth a way to work off pent up energy and frustration -- by waging war against flesh-eating zombies on a blood soaked battlefield. What fun!

Wait, do you hear that?

Is it the dreaded zombies coming for us??

No, no ...it's just Jane Austen spinning in her grave.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-11T09:21:00.001-05:00

Cupid makeover

2009-02-10T08:28:00.001-05:00

Alrighty, I haven't done a real blog in forever, 'cause I've been really grouchy, and gimpy, and I just didn't feel like it! Today is Wordless Wednesday, but see, I'm gonna post this anyway .. and I'm gonna pre-date it for yesterday, so I can still pretend I've been wordless on Wednesday and post a picture, 'cause that's just how I roll, homies.

In all my klutzy glory, I managed to twist the ligaments in my knee about a week and a half ago. I had to be on crutches because for some reason, Pookie didn't want me using her as a crutch anymore .. something about her head being smushed down into her shoulders and no longer having a neck or something, I didn't hear her very well, she was a little muffled.

Let's talk about Valentine's Day.

I've been seeing all the commercials for buying diamonds on Valentine's day to show her you love her. Buy this, buy that. Watch this lovey dovey movie that's coming on for this lovey dovey day. By the way, if you don't have someone to be all lovey dovey with on lovey dovey Valentine's Day, you're a loser.

What if I don't want to be with anyone on this stupid day? What if I want to wander into a floral shop and just start chucking bouquets at people for only being in love on Valentine's Day? Why should there be ONE day a year where everyone is lovey dovey? Why shouldn't it be EVERY day of the year? This is the stupidest holiday ever. Plus, it's catered mostly to women. Watch the commercials, who are they telling you to buy for? HER. Buy HER diamonds, buy HER this and that and the other thing. I'm a woman and it still makes me sick.

I hate it. Hate this holiday with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns. (I'm totally stealing that line from Nyxie, because I can, and because it's the closest to explaining my feelings about this day).

I think that cupid needs a makeover. He should be wearing a little black wings and have little black roses in his hair. I'm gonna toss the bow and give him tiny poison spears, so he can fly up to people who only show lovey feelings on Valentine's day, and jab them in the eyes with them. Yep, that's how it should be.

So, this Valentine's Day, I'll be home, alone, as usual, trying desperately to find a horror flick, maybe My Bloody Valentine, to watch on TV while chatting on the phone with Nyxie or Paula or Brian, and giggling at the picture in my head of cupid stabbing people in the eye with a spear. Oh hey, maybe they could come up with a horror flick about it. I'd totally watch it. Yay Valentine's Day! :)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-04T11:13:00.001-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-28T10:55:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-14T11:08:00.003-05:00

Officer Yummypants

2009-01-11T21:55:00.004-05:00

Here in WV, we have a required once-a-year state inspection for our cars. They inspect brakes, tires, wipers, lights, horn, blinkers, etc., and then place a sticker on the lower left hand side of the windshield to show that it's been done and shows the month and year that it expires. Easy enough, right? Once a year, go to the garage, pay the minimal amount of money to get it done, and get the stupid sticker. A trained monkey could remember this, right?? Right.

Wrong.

I never remember. Ever.

Well, that's not entirely true. I do remember. My memory is not as bad as it seems to be. I remember lots of stuff, just at odd times. My brain takes the scenic route to get back around to whatever I'm supposed to be remembering .. and usually ends up remembering it when it's too late to do anything about it. Like, I'll remember that I need new windshield wipers because one has broken off and flown into the car behind me, when I'm nearly home and the monsoonish rains start ... but when I go out later, and the sun is warm, I don't remember ... until it starts raining again.

Same goes with my inspection sticker. I think about it during work, but I can't have it done on a work day, I have to have it done on my day off. I only have one week day off when the garage is actually open. Do you think I remember then? Well of course not. So, most days, I go out in the evenings if we need to run errands .. 'cause it's dark and the cops can't see the stupid sticker in the dark.

Well, yesterday my brain took a small vacation and I forgot that the sticker was expired and proceeded to go out in broad daylight. I remembered halfway across town that . .oh, maybe I shouldn't be out here where there are cops tooling around with nothing better to do that to pull over some dink that can't remember to get the inspection sticker renewed on her car.

So, the munchkin and I were on high alert the whole time we were out, yanno, after I remembered we shouldn't be out .. and we took a couple short detours to avoid our lovely men in uniform. We finished the couple little errands we needed to do and headed home. We were doing great until we got about 1/4 mile from the house and there he sat. Statey was sitting on the side of the road waiting for speeders. Pookie and I were car dancing to the music when I spotted him .. but I didn't stop, 'cause that woulda just made me look guilty. We blew past him and I saw him pull out behind us in the rear-view, but no lights. I tried to talk myself into believing that he was just going to the little convenience store at the end of my street and hit the blinker to turn .. I was almost home free.

I'd apparently done a good job of talking myself into believing he wasn't following me, 'cause when he turned on the blue lights, I just about jumped outta my skin .. right before I started muttering softly under my breath. I grabbed the insurance card for him, and my license, and had them ready when he got to the window. Now most people have some kinda good sense when they get pulled over and respectfully hand over their stuff.

I'm not most people.

My first words when he sidled up to the window were, "Well aren't you beautiful? er .. I mean, hello officer."

*ahem*

I have a thing for state cops, no clue why ... I just do.

Anyway, he kinda blushed a little and said, "Did you know that your inspection sticker is expired?"

I gave him the dumb-blonde-borderline-moron-hey-i'm-stupid-but-i-have-a-cute-smile look and said "well crap," .. and then grinned cutely at him. He chuckled and said it was no big deal and asked for my license, registration and insurance. I had the license and insurance .. but went completely blank on the registration and Officer Yummypants had to repeat himself, much to his amusement. He got it all taken care of and gave me a warning, just like always. As I was replacing all the stuff in the glove box, I kinda mumbled under my breath, "Works every year." To which, my daughter gave me this partly disgusted, partly amused, partly amazed look and said, "Just how often do you do that??" I just grinned at her and said, "Ahh, every year, little grasshopper ... every year."

That's TWO ...

2009-01-09T08:03:00.009-05:00

The lunch lady over at Tales from the Lunchroom gave me a new award!

Isn't that purrrrty?? Thankies Lunch Lady! I can't call you "heathersister," 'cause .. well .. people call me "Pookie's mom" all the time, right to my face even, and it drives me batty, 'cause hey, I have a name .. and it's the same kinda thing LOL

Anyway! Thankies for the purrty award .. I'm like some kind of funky mutation of Gollum from Lord of the Rings and The Count from Sesame Street. I'm all 'my precioussssss' and hoarding my little pile of awards ... and counting them .. that's TWO ... TWO blog awards .. ha ha ha *giggles*

So, rules for the award are to link back to the one that gave it to you, which I did already (That's ONE ... One link back .. ha ha ha)*ahem*

...then choose 7 people to receive the award ..

So, I'll give it to ...

VodkaMom 'cause I *heart* her blog and the stories about her kindergarten kids just crack me up!

Irish Gumbo .. 'cause I'm gonna be a long-time stalker of that one

Lula over at Lulaville 'cause ya just gotta love her. Yes, you have to.

Anna over at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder, 'cause she makes me giggle a lot.

Paige over at Turning Paige, 'cause she's just cute, that's why!

Lyndsay over at I Used to be Witty ... 'cause she's still pretty witty and makes me smile

and Maternal Mirth 'cause I just love reading about the gang

So, there ya have it ... I might even remember to hop over to each of their blogs and let them know that there's an award waiting for them lol

That's SEVEN .. SEVEN bloggers ... ha ha ha.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-07T14:52:00.003-05:00