Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Random Tuesday

in·san·i·ty:   Repeatedly doing the exact same thing the exact same way and fully expecting a different result.


I had to run Princess Pooky to school today because the bus was so late that I assumed we'd missed it somehow in the 0.0005 seconds that I looked away from the street while we were waiting for it at Oh-Dark&Nasty-thirty this morning.  As I locked the door and started back to the bedroom to de-robe and put some clothes on, when I was literally 2 steps away from the door, there he came, did something that may have resembled a whisper of a pause at the end of the driveway and then went roaring down the street. *()&%#$()*#).   So I had to go out in the cold and snow and cold ... and did I mention COLD?! to take her to school.  Totally the bus driver's fault this time.  So anyway, I made a quick run by MickeyD's for a sausage biscuit on the way home.

It dawned on me when I brought my little breakfast niblet into the house, where it was light and I could see the bag, that when a biscuit is dripping with grease .. so much so that it has drained through the wrapper and even the bag is kinda soaked with it .. that this might possibly not be the best idea for breakfast. 


 My daughter has shamed me into going back to the gym, because she wants to go to the fitness room with me, now that she's old enough (to be snuck in without much question). She's supposed to be 12, which she will be in 2 months ... close enough!  I told her to stop asking every 5 seconds because she was driving me nuts, so now she comes home and does the "Y-M-C-A" motions and gives me an inquisitive, raised eyebrow look instead of asking. It was cute .. the first 100 times. 

Not so cute anymore. 

I might strangle her.
So, we were trying to find a pair of shoes for her to wear. She has 5000 pair of shoes by the front door, which she proceeded to bring in one at a time to try on to see if any of them still fit.  She, of course, did not take each pair back as she got the next pair, and instead elected to build a small mountain of stench there in the living room.  It is a heavy, oppressive stench that emanates from the pile, I can see the stinky fumes rising from them. I felt pretty light-headed there for a few minutes and actually got nauseous.  That kid has some toxic feet.  I'm pretty sure that between her stinky feet and my friend Iggy's toxic, make-the-cat-go-bald gas, the two of them could probably take over the world without too much effort.  I told her that we'd just have to find more shoes for her to wear to the gym, because you have to actually change shoes there, you can't use street shoes.   I'm afraid that if she carried a pair of those inside that she might kill everyone in the building.  The dog sticks her face right in those shoes, but then .. she's brain dead already.  The mountain o'stench was moved back to the front door when the cats started twitching uncontrollably. 


Captain Dumbass said...

We bought my oldest new shoes before Xmas and he's already destroyed them. Kicked the toes out of both of them.