Friday, May 15, 2009

Evil Underwires

Ya know how nothing ever feels quite as good as a bra that fits just right? Well .. ok, so the male-types may not know ... or, they may know. Ya know I will never understand why some men want to wear bras. If I had man-boobies and didn't have to wear a bra, I sure wouldn't!

Anyway! I happened to have on a bra last night that was not terribly comfortable, because it wsa the only one I could find in time to leave the house. It has underwires .. and while most of my underwires are fairly comfy and uplifting and stuff, this one likes to poke me with the underwires. They have a mind of their own, ya know. They flip upside down and poke ya in the side, or in the arm, and it's just really really uncomfortable.

So, we had to go to Pookie's swim lesson, where I fought inconspicuously with this bra the whole time. The observation deck at the pool is rather warm and cozy ... if you enjoy sitting on the surface of the sun. It must be 985 degrees in there. There's a skylight, which traps all the summer sun heat, as well as heat lamps that are kept on. So, needless to say, I was sweating like some kind of farm animal, praying that some smart aleck kid would cannonball into the pool and manage to hit all of us parents with a nice splash. But, alas, that didn't happen and I stayed there, sweating quietly while I fought my undergarments.

Pookie then decided that last night was the night we would go out for Mother's Day. She wanted to take me out to dinner, but something had kept getting in the way all week, so instead of getting out of that blasted sadistic wired straight jacket, I gritted my teeth and bore it a little while longer, and we went out to dinner.

I made it until we were pulling out of the parking lot and finally just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled the evil bra off and tossed it in Pookie's lap and told her to hold it for me. She was giggling and doing the "Mo-Ther" thing .. but I could finally breathe again!

A couple minutes later, she says "Oooo this is warm"

I looked

yup .. knee warmers.


Sass said...

Oh, my goodness. I can relate...

I love me a good bra...unfortunately there are so few out there. And the ones that feel reaallllllly good, cost more than I would normally spend on an entire outfit.


have a beautiful weekend!

for a different kind of girl said...

Ha! Excellent alternate use!

I hate underwire bras anymore. They damn near kill me! Literally! The last time I dropped a bunch of money on one, I was 30 minutes into a four hour shift at work and the wires poked out of one side and stabbed me so hard I wanted to scream. I was trapped with the killer bra the whole time! I've broken up with them!

Fragrant Liar said...

HAHAHAHA. Knee warmers. That's the sign of a good, versatile bra. Victoria's Secret's got nothing on you, sweetie!

Tynian said...

I aint saying a word on the bra... but KayKay... clean your damn car xD

That an unhygenic amount of trash xD

Divine Chaos said...

well Tynny, my dear, that's mostly straw wrappers in the floor and i'm pretty sure they're not "unhygenic"

You should see the rest of the car *smiles sweetly*

Tempestuous said...

You tell him Sis! *chuckles but makes note not to let Tyn see my brothers truck, bleh*

If you didn't have those WMD's to lug around all the time you could toss the bra's out the window - that's what I do most of the time, I rarely wear those evil vicious things if I can avoid it. I figger - the twins were born free, they deserve to live their life the way they choose. ;)

Chef E said...

I finally realized that giving up my 'younger year' tight and sassy bras had to go into the donation box, and I 'cross your heart' my underwire twins have loved me well since...but that occasional rogue wire reminds me who's meaner...