Today, We Cry

My stepfather has been the source of much laughter and happiness since I was quite little. I'm not sure how old I was, but there are only one or two of my memories that he was not a part of. He took me in as a child and raised me as his own. I have been blessed with 2 daddies.

It took years for me to feel this way. When I was little, I called him daddy once and he told me no, he was not "daddy." He told me that I had a daddy and he was not there to replace him ... and I, being about 6, did not understand that. There was a lot of turmoil between us as I grew up because of that single interaction. Obviously he didn't love me, because he wouldn't let me call him daddy, right? I threw it in his face several times through my teens, "you're not my DADDY, remember??" And what do you suppose he did? He had the nerve to just keep on loving me anyway.

When we moved to WV when I was 8, he searched high and low for just the right horse for me .. a spirited colt, which he broke himself. Or rather, she broke him. I'm not sure exactly which happened lol. That rotten horse loved him, though.

He would spend hours and hours in his shop, hand loading bullets or building gun stocks, carving them, making things, fixing things .. and I would just hang out down there with him "helping."

He taught me to shoot when we first moved here too. They have a 64 acre farm up on the mountain, so we had plenty of room up there. We used cow-patties as targets .. hehe. Explosive fun! After a while, he would take me on top of the hill and point out leaves in the pond that lay on the other side, down in the valley, and have me shoot those. I'm actually an excellent shot, because of him.

He taught me to drive on a 4-speed GMC truck, out in the field. My mother would grab my baby sisters (who were 5 and 1 at the time), take them in to the house and lock the door when I got behind the wheel. I'm not sure what she thought she was accomplishing 'cause really, if I wanted in I'm pretty sure the truck would have gone right through *grins*

He is extremely smart, as well as being terribly silly. He makes us all giggle on a pretty regular basis. I don't think I've been around him at all in the last 10 years that he has not had me in hysterics at least once during each visit. Between spider conspiracy theories and deer training he is always a great source of giggling.

I have learned much from my stepfather over the years. He is the most moral man I have ever met. Honest to a fault. He is truly a jack-of-all-trades and is always tinkering with something. One of his trades is gunsmithing and would build guns for people, or do carvings on the stocks for them, and then proceed to point out every single flaw, even the most minute. Even the ones that you cannot see while they're being pointed out to you.
He and my mother have had their ups and downs for the last 33 years, but they have always come through them. Both of them are stubborn as rocks and refuse to ever give up on each other. I have rarely seen a love that could weather -any- storm .. but I've seen a couple, and my mother and stepfather are one of those.

I have been truly, truly blessed to have 2 daddies.

One of my daddies was taken from us Thursday night when my stepfather died suddenly and sent us all reeling in shock that will not soon leave us. There is, and will ever be, a huge void in all of our hearts with his loss. He was the backbone of our family, the level headed one, the fixer of all things. My mother has lost her other half, my sisters their daddy, and I .. I have lost this man that loved another man's child, that took care of her as his own, this man that I love for being there for me, no matter what .. my 2nd father.

Please pray for my family, my mother especially. She needs it so much right now. I know the sun will shine again, the tears will eventually stop and only make an appearance occasionally. One day we'll smile again. I know the world will keep on spinning and we have to spin with it, whether we like it or not. It seems right now that our world has stopped and the rest of you are just spinning on past us, though. Tomorrow and tomorrow, we will smile when the sun breaks through the clouds and touches us once more, but today ... today, we cry.