Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Call the Funny Farm, I want one of the cool white jackets

I'm pretty sure I'm certifiable .. I mean, I was pretty sure I was before, but now I'm kinda positive. I decided to be a foster mom, which y'all knew already .. or at least the ones of you that I actually gave the address here already knew. So, now instead of being a single mom to one child who is 10 going on 30 .. I'm a single mom to 4 children who are all in various stages of know-it-all-ness. I'll be 37 tomorrow and now mother to a 16 year old, two 10 year olds, and Nana ('cause I refuse to be called grandma or mawmaw -- 'cause i'm only 37dangit!) to a 16 month old, as well as 4 dogs and a cat -- all girls, of course.

We live on an island in the estrogen ocean, most of the males around our island are scared and look a bit like deer in the headlights as they gaze across the water at us .. as well they should be.

I never thought I'd be the type of mom to be very conspiciously cleaning the guns when boys started sniffing around my girls .. but, as it turns out, I am lol. I have a shovel and a big back yard, and I doubt most of them would be missed anyway.

Ya know, most women turn into their mothers at some point .. I seem to have become my mother AND father .. which is an amazingly weird combination, seeing that they are at completely opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. It's no wonder I'm insane.

By the way .. whoever made up the saying "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried to take anything from a baby. It's not easy .. it's an acrobatic stunt. It entails lots of flailing arms and legs, kinda like an octopus, amazing contortions, and if ya try it without a net, there's a good chance someone is gonna get hurt.