Little Stink Foot

I just have to say, my daughter has the stinkiest, smelliest feet in the world. I don't mean they just stink a little .. it's horrible! The child refuses to wear socks .. so her tennies smell just horrifyingly bad, which makes her feet smell horriflying bad when she takes them out of the shoes. That's how I know she's home from school. I guess the good thing is that she definitely can't sneak up on me .. 'cause the smell assaults my nostrils long before she gets into the room I'm in when she gets home. I try to get her to wear socks .. but she swears she doesnt have any. I know she does. Between my grandparents and myself, we should own stock in the sock making companies. We've bought her about 792 pair socks in the last year. She wears them once, but when she takes them off she stuffs them into the couch cushions, under the chair, under the mattress, wherever she happens to be when she takes them off, that's where they go. They never make the trip to the laundry room two by two. Nope. Just one at a time. She has an entire bucket full of unmatched socks. I'm pretty sure the dryer is eating the others. Either that or there is a sock conspiracy going on under the couch in my living room.

She came in one day while I was on the phone with my friend, Iggy.

Iggy: So when's Pookie get home?

Kay: She should be here any .. *cough, gag* ugh .. she's here.

Iggy: I don't hear her.

Kay: Be thankful you can't smell her. She's home .. trust me. ...... WASH YOUR FEET, CHILD!

This was followed by a lot of squealing and giggling as she ran through every room of the house, stinking up the place. Iggy was in hysterics on the phone. I was dying a slow, painful, smelly death. She finally made it into the bedroom, where I was lying in wait to spray her down with some OxyOrange .. which just made her squeal more and take off again, while I was yelling after her to go wash those nasty tootsies.

After listening to the chaos and giggling for a few minutes, when he'd finally stopped laughing enough that he could speak .. Iggy asked to talk to her.

Iggy: Hey, Pookie, why don't you go wash your feet before you kill your mother?

Pookie: Nah .. my feet don't smell that bad.

I was donning my gas mask, fearing that I'd pass out if I didn't get that horrible smell out of the house .. and was threatening to take her outside and hose her down. Iggy and Pookie had a conversation for several minutes which ended with...

Iggy: Really .. WHY won't you wash your feet?

Pookie: Because, it's the stench of discovery, Iggy!

Iggy: (In hysterics again) Oh brother .. give the phone back to your mother.

*blinkblinks*

I'm not sure what kind of discovery it was .. perhaps that a small animal had crawled into her shoes and died. But yeah .. the stench of discovery.

Under much protestation, she did finally discover the soap .. Hallelujah!

She also discovered that if she doesn't wear socks after mom has doused her shoes with OxyOrange and Febreze to get rid of the smell .. or at least get it down to a more manageable level, it makes her feet itch lots *smirks*